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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25881286">new romantics</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/downn_in_flames/pseuds/downn_in_flames'>downn_in_flames</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>we need love but all we want is danger [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Chatting &amp; Messaging, Fluff, Multi, i guess we'll find out eventually, i still don't know if this actually has a plot, right now just expect a lot of drunken shenanigans</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:54:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>16,296</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25881286</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/downn_in_flames/pseuds/downn_in_flames</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p></p><div class="center">
  <p> Every day is like a battle, but every night with us is like a dream. </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p> </p>
  <p>    <i>{a modern AU chatfic with many shenanigans, some sober and some... not}</i><br/></p>
</div>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>we need love but all we want is danger [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2063724</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>145</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>357</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. we’re all bored, we’re all so tired of everything</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>world’s greatest bachelor pad</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>james potter [world’s biggest heartbreaker], sirius black [world’s sexiest man alive], peter pettigrew [world’s best chef], remus lupin [these nicknames are stupid]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p><p>
  <b>world’s sexiest man alive: </b>
  <span>yo who’s on jell-o shot duty today</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>these nicknames are stupid:</b>
  <span> not me, i made them last time</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>world’s biggest heartbreaker:</b>
  <span> pretty sure it’s you, sirius</span>
</p><p>
  <b>world’s biggest heartbreaker:</b>
  <span> i had the christmas party and pete had new year’s</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>world’s sexiest man alive:</b>
  <span> motherfucker</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p> </p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>how are we all still alive</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>lily evans [the mom friend], mary mcdonald [lily no ur not responsible enough for that], marlene mckinnon [the dad friend], james potter [the friend who jumps off the cliff first], sirius black [will follow james off the cliff], peter pettigrew [pls eat something before drinking], remus lupin [the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p><p>
  <b>lily no ur not responsible enough for that: </b>
  <span>what time is this thing starting</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>will follow james off the cliff: </b>
  <span>9</span>
</p><p>
  <b>will follow james off the cliff: </b>
  <span>8 if you’re down for a good time and wanna be shitfaced before everyone else shows up</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>so 8 then</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>will follow james off the cliff: </b>
  <span>yeah 8</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>the mom friend: </b>
  <span>what if i show up at 8 already shitfaced</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>lily no ur not responsible enough for that: </b>
  <span>you prove the point of my username every time you speak in this group chat i swear</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death: </b>
  <span>also mine</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>the mom friend: </b>
  <span>it has been a Day™ let me have this</span>
</p><p>
  <b>the mom friend: </b>
  <span>the fucking greasebag in my research lab was somehow creepier than usual today</span>
</p><p>
  <b>the mom friend: </b>
  <span>AND he contaminated one of my samples so i had to redo it</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>the friend who jumps off the cliff first: </b>
  <span>fuck that guy</span>
</p><p>
  <b>the friend who jumps off the cliff first: </b>
  <span>my offer still stands, i’ll beat him up for not knowing how to respect your boundaries</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>the mom friend: </b>
  <span>no</span>
</p><p>
  <b>the mom friend: </b>
  <span>in this house we get revenge by getting the prestigious flamel fellowship spot he’s been lusting after since we got to uni</span>
</p><p>
  <b>the mom friend: </b>
  <span>and in the meantime, we get fucked up</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>pls eat something before drinking: </b>
  <span>see you at 8 then!!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>will follow james off the cliff: </b>
  <span>i’ll make some extra strong jello shots just for you</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>the mom friend: </b>
  <span>my hero &lt;3</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p> </p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>bitch pack friends from the city</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>lily evans [betty], mary mcdonald [rebekah], marlene mckinnon [inez]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p><p>
  <b>inez: </b>
  <span>red alert red alert</span>
</p><p>
  <b>inez: </b>
  <span>i just saw dorcas</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>rebekah: </b>
  <span>WHAT</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>inez: </b>
  <span>yep literally almost ran right into her in the kitchen</span>
</p><p>
  <b>inez: </b>
  <span>she chopped all her hair off and it looks really pretty</span>
</p><p>
  <b>inez: </b>
  <span>now i’m hiding in sirius’ bathroom</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>betty: </b>
  <span>FUCK let me handle this</span>
</p><p>
  <b>betty: </b>
  <span>pls hold</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p> </p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>bachelor pad and the freeloader</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>james potter [actual resident #1], sirius black [actual resident #2], peter pettigrew [actual resident #3], remus lupin [actual resident #4], lily evans [i’m not freeloading i don’t even sleep there]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p><p>
  <b>i’m not freeloading i don’t even sleep there:</b>
  <span> hi, just wondering which one of you absolute fucking asshats was responsible for inviting marlene’s ex to this party :)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>actual resident #1:</b>
  <span> wait what</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>actual resident #3: </b>
  <span>which one??</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>i’m not freeloading i don’t even sleep there:</b>
  <span> you know which one, pete</span>
</p><p>
  <b>i’m not freeloading i don’t even sleep there:</b>
  <span> the only real one</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>actual resident #2: </b>
  <span>dorcas??</span>
</p><p>
  <b>actual resident #2: </b>
  <span>shit</span>
</p><p>
  <b>actual resident #2: </b>
  <span>to be clear i’m not saying i did</span>
</p><p>
  <b>actual resident #2:</b>
  <span> just like a general ‘shit that’s real fuckin awkward’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>actual resident #4: … </b>
  <span>oh fuck</span>
</p><p>
  <b>actual resident #4:</b>
  <span> this is THAT dorcas??</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>i’m not freeloading i don’t even sleep there:</b>
  <span> remus how common of a name do you think dorcas is</span>
</p><p>
  <b>i’m not freeloading i don’t even sleep there:</b>
  <span> of course it’s THAT dorcas</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>actual resident #4: </b>
  <span>dorcas had long hair when she was dating marlene!!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>i’m not freeloading i don’t even sleep there:</b>
  <span> haircuts exist</span>
</p><p>
  <b>i’m not freeloading i don’t even sleep there:</b>
  <span> anyways, marlene is hiding in sirius’ bathroom and it’s all your fault :)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>actual resident #2: </b>
  <span>wait how did she get into my bathroom my door is locked??</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>i’m not freeloading i don’t even sleep there:</b>
  <span> remus i highly recommend you take her shots as an apology for Fucking Up Big Time</span>
</p><p>
  <b>i’m not freeloading i don’t even sleep there: </b>
  <span>sirius don’t doubt the power of a woman trying to hide from someone who broke her heart</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>actual resident #4: </b>
  <span>taking shots to marlene now</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>i’m not freeloading i don’t even sleep there: </b>
  <span>also god this whole experience sobered me up completely i hate it here</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>actual resident #1: </b>
  <em>
    <span>@i’m not freeloading i don’t even sleep there</span>
  </em>
  <span> there’s tequila in my room if you want something stronger, i can go get it for you</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>i’m not freeloading i don’t even sleep there: </b>
  <span>ugh yes ur great</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>actual resident #1: </b>
  <span>i know :)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>i’m not freeloading i don’t even sleep there: </b>
  <span>ugh i shouldn’t have inflated your ego like that</span>
</p><p>
  <b>i’m not freeloading i don’t even sleep there: </b>
  <span>ur tequila is great and that’s it</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p> </p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>lily evans, marlene mckinnon</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p><p>
  <b>lily evans:</b>
  <span> u ok babe??</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>marlene mckinnon:</b>
  <span> remus gave me a loooot of shots i’m doing grate nwo </span>
</p><p>
  <b>marlene mckinnon:</b>
  <span> he’s v drunky too btw</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>lily evans:</b>
  <span> god why is everyone else drunk af and i’m nottttttt</span>
</p><p>
  <b>lily evans: </b>
  <span>where is james with that tequila</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>lily evans:</b>
  <span> i take it bck i’m drunky</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p> </p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>world’s greatest bachelor pad</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>james potter [world’s biggest heartbreaker], sirius black [world’s sexiest man alive], peter pettigrew [world’s best chef], remus lupin [these nicknames are stupid]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p><p>
  <b>these nicknames are stupid:</b>
  <span> hasss anyone seen james???</span>
</p><p>
  <b>these nicknames are stupid:</b>
  <span> he’s literally not in the apartment anyhwere</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>world’s sexiest man alive: </b>
  <span>he was nt my responersbility tonihgt</span>
</p><p>
  <b>world’s sexiest man alive: </b>
  <span>he’s prob hookng up with whaterve girl he was chatting up tonight </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>world’s best chef:</b>
  <span> who was he evne talking too tonite?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>world’s best chef:</b>
  <span> wasn’t he wiht lily for mosttt of the party</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>world’s sexiest man alive:</b>
  <span> nd also that blonde chikc</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>these nicknames are stupid:</b>
  <span> ah yeaah he’s definitley hooking up with the blonde chick</span>
</p><p>
  <b>these nicknames are stupid:</b>
  <span> james, whenever you see thsi, you’re on bathrm cleaning duty torommow </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. we show off our different scarlet letters (trust me, mine is better)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em> james potter, peter pettigrew </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p><b>peter pettigrew:</b> so uh, pretty sure rem and sirius hooked up again last night</p>
<p><b>peter pettigrew:</b> i know they’re both gonna act like it’s totally chill and there’s nothing going on between them but</p>
<p><b>peter pettigrew:</b> i feel like after the second time it stops being nothing</p>
<p><b>peter pettigrew:</b> much less the….. what are we at now? tenth?</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>james potter:</b> yeahhh</p>
<p><b>james potter:</b> although i feel like the threshold is maybe higher than two</p>
<p><b>james potter:</b> you can fuck someone twice in the same night after all</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>peter pettigrew:</b> is this about the blonde chick you went home with last night</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>james potter:</b> lol maybe</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>world’s greatest bachelor pad</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em> james potter [world’s biggest heartbreaker], sirius black [world’s sexiest man alive], peter pettigrew [world’s best chef], remus lupin [these nicknames are stupid] </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p><b>world’s sexiest man alive: </b>james where the fuck are you</p>
<p><b>world’s sexiest man alive: </b>and can you bring food when you come home</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>these nicknames are stupid: </b>and you still need to clean the downstairs bathroom</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>world’s biggest heartbreaker: </b>yeah i’ll pick up food</p>
<p><b>world’s biggest heartbreaker: </b>mcdonald’s work?</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>world’s sexiest man alive: </b>i would like my body weight in hashbrowns pls</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>world’s best chef: </b>i could make better hashbrowns than that</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>these nicknames are stupid: </b>except you’re ALSO too hungover to function rn</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>world’s best chef: </b>valid</p>
<p><b>world’s best chef: </b>mcdonald’s it is</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>world’s biggest heartbreaker: </b>be there in 30</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>world’s sexiest man alive: </b>30??? ditch that girl faster pls</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>these nicknames are stupid: </b>don’t encourage james to be even more of a dick than he already is pls</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>bitch pack friends from the city</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em> lily evans [betty], mary mcdonald [rebekah], marlene mckinnon [inez] </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p><b>rebekah: </b>is everyone alive???</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>inez: </b>depends on how you define “alive”</p>
<p><b>inez: </b>never in my life have i gotten that fucked up on jello shots alone</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>rebekah: </b>sirius’s are always the most dangerous</p>
<p><b>rebekah: </b>lily???</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>betty: </b>hi</p>
<p><b>betty: </b>yes i’m alive</p>
<p><b>betty: </b>omw to coffee shop to study</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>inez: </b>didn’t you and james drink straight tequila last night</p>
<p><b>inez: </b>how the FUCK are you functional enough to study rn</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>rebekah: </b>rt i still haven’t gotten out of bed yet</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>betty: </b>idk, just got lucky i guess</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>rebekah: </b>the gods of alcohol consumption have truly blessed u on this day</p>
<p><b>rebekah:</b> i hope one day to achieve that favor</p>
<p><b>rebekah: </b>until then, i am turning on netflix and not leaving my bed for the next 8 hours</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em> lily evans, marlene mckinnon </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p><b>marlene mckinnon: </b>so i have a confession</p>
<p><b>marlene mckinnon:</b> and a problem</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>lily evans: </b>lay em both on me</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>marlene mckinnon: </b>confession - i drunk-texted dorcas last night</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>lily evans:</b> oh god</p>
<p><b>lily evans:</b> what did you say??</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>marlene mckinnon:</b> i don’t know</p>
<p><b>marlene mckinnon:</b> i’m a little fuzzy on the details and i’m too scared to check</p>
<p><b>marlene mckinnon:</b> which leads into the problem</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>lily evans:</b> which is?</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>marlene mckinnon:</b> she texted back</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>lily evans:</b> shit</p>
<p><b>lily evans:</b> saying what?</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>marlene mckinnon:</b> i’m too scared to look!!</p>
<p><b>marlene mckinnon:</b> if i wasn’t so hungover that the mere thought of alcohol makes me want to vom i would definitely take multiple shots before opening up the message thread</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em> marlene mckinnon, dorcas meadowes </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p><b>marlene mckinnon: </b>hey so uh fuck youu youre not allwed to be so prtty still</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>dorcas meadowes: </b>um… i can’t tell if that’s a compliment of an insult</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p><b>marlene mckinnon: </b>hi dorcas, i’m really sorry about my message last night. i’d had a little too much to drink and clearly remus should’ve taken my phone from me before i could fire off messages to a bunch of random people.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>dorcas meadowes: </b>marley, it’s fine</p>
<p><b>dorcas meadowes: </b>you don’t have to explain drunk texts to me</p>
<p><b>dorcas meadowes: </b>you’ve experienced far worse from me</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>marlene mckinnon: </b>haha yeah i guess that’s true</p>
<p><b>marlene mckinnon: </b>but anyways</p>
<p><b>marlene mckinnon: </b>i’m still sorry about all of that</p>
<p><b>marlene mckinnon: </b>your new hair *does* look nice though, btw</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>dorcas meadowes: </b>oh, haha thanks</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>marlene mckinnon: </b>you’re welcome :)</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em> lily evans, marlene mckinnon </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p><b>marlene mckinnon: </b>anyways i don’t wanna talk about it but GOD i am a pathetic dumbass</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>lily evans: </b>but you’re everyone’s favourite pathetic dumbass &lt;3</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>marlene mckinnon: </b>ok i lowkey hate the fact that that DID actually make me feel better</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>lily evans: </b>love u</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>marlene mckinnon: </b>love you too you weird hangover-resistant alien</p>
<p><b>marlene mckinnon: </b>good luck with the studying</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>bachelor pad and the freeloader</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em> james potter [actual resident #1], sirius black [actual resident #2], peter pettigrew [actual resident #3], remus lupin [actual resident #4], lily evans [i’m not freeloading i don’t even sleep there] </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p><b>i’m not freeloading i don’t even sleep there: </b>atla binge session still happening tonight?</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>actual resident #2: </b>of course</p>
<p><b>actual resident #2: </b>why wouldn’t it be?</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>i’m not freeloading i don’t even sleep there: </b>idk, i have no idea how all of you are faring after last night</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>actual resident #3: </b>we’re all fine now</p>
<p><b>actual resident #3: </b>james brought breakfast when he got home from fucking the blonde</p>
<p><b>actual resident #3: </b>apparently poor quality hashbrowns are all it takes to resurrect us from the dead</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>i’m not freeloading i don’t even sleep there: </b>i mean yeah i could’ve told you that</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>actual resident #2: </b>you’re still coming, right?</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>actual resident #4: </b>we need our resident katara here with us to truly maximise the experience</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>i’m not freeloading i don’t even sleep there: </b>ugh i am NOT a preachy crybaby who gives overemotional speeches about hope all the time</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>actual resident #1: </b>yes u are</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>actual resident #4: </b>i thought you WANTED to be the mom friend</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>actual resident #2: </b>ooooooooh, burn</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em> james potter, lily evans </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p><b>lily evans: </b>‘fucking the blonde’</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>james potter: </b>lol shut up</p>
<p><br/><b>lily evans: </b>never :)</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. we're so young, but we're on the road to ruin</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em> dorcas meadowes, remus lupin </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p><p><b>dorcas meadowes:</b> hi remus, i know this is really random, but i have a somewhat weird question for you</p><p><b>dorcas meadowes:</b> at the party on saturday night, was marley really drunk texting *everyone* or was it just me?</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p></p><div class="center">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em> remus lupin, sirius black </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p><p><b>remus lupin: </b>Attachment - 1 Image</p><p><b>remus lupin: </b>help what do i do</p><p><b>remus lupin: </b>i was gonna ask the whole group but if james knows it will definitely get back to lily and then to marlene and i don’t want that either</p><p><b>remus lupin: </b>but idk how to answer this</p><p> </p><p><b>sirius black: </b>first of all, i am offended at the implication that i was not your first choice for advice</p><p><b>sirius black: </b>second of all, do you know the actual answer to the question she’s asking?</p><p> </p><p><b>remus lupin: </b>yes</p><p><b>remus lupin: </b>it was literally just dorcas</p><p><b>remus lupin: </b>and honestly she probably would’ve sent more, also just to dorcas, if i hadn’t caught on and turned her phone off</p><p> </p><p><b>sirius black: </b>oof</p><p> </p><p><b>remus lupin: </b>i do not want to get in the middle of this</p><p> </p><p><b>sirius black: </b>leave her on read then</p><p><b>sirius black: </b>also, if you want advice that isn’t from me</p><p><b>sirius black: </b>since i am apparently ~not your first choice~</p><p><b>sirius black: </b>i know james well enough that i can *also* give you the exact answer he’d give you without you having to risk lily/marlene catching wind of it</p><p><b>sirius black: </b>and that answer is ‘dorcas is the one who dumped marlene so she has no right to be asking about her anymore, it’s her fault for giving up a good thing while she had it’</p><p> </p><p><b>remus lupin: </b>oh god i even read that in his voice</p><p> </p><p><b>sirius black: </b>it’s a talent</p><p> </p><p><b>remus lupin: </b>also shut up you know you’re my first choice in many things</p><p><b>remus lupin: </b>handling situations delicately is just not one of them</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>bitch pack friends from the city</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em> lily evans [betty], mary mcdonald [rebekah], marlene mckinnon [inez] </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p><p><b>inez: </b>fuck my lifeeeee</p><p><b>inez: </b>i swear to god i’m cursed</p><p><b>inez: </b>like literally someone up there has just really got it out for me all of a sudden</p><p><b>inez: </b>i blame the jello shots from saturday</p><p><b>inez: </b>those were too deceptively delicious to be anything other than pure sin</p><p> </p><p><b>rebekah: </b>what happened??</p><p> </p><p><b>inez: </b>i literally have not seen dorcas once in the six months since we broke up</p><p><b>inez: </b>and now, in the span of four days, i have both run into her at a party and at the new coffee shop by the park</p><p><b>inez: </b>all of my sacred safe places are being taken from me</p><p> </p><p><b>betty: </b>you ran into her at three broomsticks??</p><p> </p><p><b>inez: </b>YES</p><p><b>inez: </b>and even WORSE</p><p><b>inez: </b>she’s the new barista</p><p><b>inez: </b>so now i have to go through the effort to figure out her schedule so that i can assure we’re never there at the same time, because god i will make an absolute fucking fool out of myself if i try to order a drink from her</p><p><b>inez: </b>i’ll probably spill it on myself</p><p><b>inez: </b>or her</p><p><b>inez: </b>or both of us</p><p> </p><p><b>betty: </b>marley, BREATHE</p><p> </p><p><b>rebekah: </b>ok i know how you’re gonna react at first</p><p><b>rebekah: </b>but hear me out on this</p><p><b>rebekah: </b>maybe seeing her more will be good?</p><p><b>rebekah: </b>just like… being desensitised to her</p><p><b>rebekah: </b>if seeing her stops triggering a huge reaction, you’ll get over her faster</p><p> </p><p><b>inez: </b>but what if i never get over herrrrrrrrrrrrrrr</p><p><b>inez: </b>what if that was my one shot at true love and i fucked it up and now i’m never going to find it again</p><p> </p><p><b>betty: </b>ok first of all i would like to remind you that she broke up with you, you were not the one who fucked things up</p><p><b>betty: </b>also, i repeat, marley, BREATHE</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>how are we all still alive</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em> lily evans [the mom friend], mary mcdonald [lily no ur not responsible enough for that], marlene mckinnon [the dad friend], james potter [the friend who jumps off the cliff first], sirius black [will follow james off the cliff], peter pettigrew [pls eat something before drinking], remus lupin [the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death] </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p><p><b>pls eat something before drinking: </b>prewetts are apparently throwing a full-on rager on friday</p><p><b>pls eat something before drinking: </b>theme is white lie t-shirts</p><p> </p><p><b>lily no ur not responsible enough for that: </b>i can’t believe you’re even thinking about getting drunk again after saturday</p><p><b>lily no ur not responsible enough for that: </b>i’m in, obviously</p><p> </p><p><b>the dad friend: </b>also innnn</p><p><b>the dad friend: </b>although if anyone sees dorcas there feel free to just off me in the middle of the party</p><p><b>the dad friend: </b>it’ll be what the universe has decided i deserve as restitution for my sins</p><p> </p><p><b>will follow james off the cliff: </b>fuck yes i’m here for a rager</p><p> </p><p><b>the mom friend: </b>i should be in, just gotta check something first</p><p> </p><p><b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death: </b>what could you possibly have going on on a friday night, they shut down the whole ass chemistry building at 7</p><p><b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death: </b>but yeah, also in</p><p> </p><p><b>the mom friend: </b>ok yeah i’m good</p><p> </p><p><b>the friend who jumps off the cliff first: </b>hell yeah let’s do this shit</p><p> </p><p><b>the mom friend: </b>wait remus are you suggesting that the only two things i do in my life are lab work and hanging out with you all??</p><p> </p><p><b>will follow james off the cliff: </b>is he wrong though</p><p><b>will follow james off the cliff: </b>you’re almost always only ever one of two places, the chem building and our couch</p><p> </p><p><b>the mom friend: </b>also my own bed</p><p><b>the mom friend: </b>since, you know, i don’t sleep at your place</p><p> </p><p><b>the friend who jumps off the cliff first: </b>whatever helps you sleep at night, freeloader</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p></p><div class="center">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em> dorcas meadowes, remus lupin </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p><p><b>dorcas meadowes: </b>ok i realize my question yesterday was a little insensitive</p><p><b>dorcas meadowes: </b>i shouldn’t have asked you for details on one of your friends because i was too scared to just ask her on my own</p><p><b>dorcas meadowes: </b>anyways, idk if you’re going to the prewett’s party on friday but if so i’ll see you there</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p></p><div class="center">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p> </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em> remus lupin, sirius black </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p><p><b>remus lupin: </b>Attachment - 1 Image</p><p><b>remus lupin: </b>alright who’s going to be responsible for marley’s death on friday because it’s not going to be me</p><p><b>remus lupin: </b>i did not sign up to get stuck in the middle of these things!!!</p><p> </p><p><b>sirius black: </b>i mean, you ARE the one who invited dorcas last weekend, so technically, you kind of DID sign up for it</p><p> </p><p><b>remus lupin: </b>the fact that this is the first moment you’ve ever thought about something ‘technically’ fills me with so much rage</p><p><br/><b>sirius black: </b>personally i think it was a great first moment</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. we play dumb but we know exactly what we're doing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>how are we all still alive</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>lily evans [the mom friend], mary mcdonald [lily no ur not responsible enough for that], marlene mckinnon [the dad friend], james potter [the friend who jumps off the cliff first], sirius black [will follow james off the cliff], peter pettigrew [pls eat something before drinking], remus lupin [the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>will follow james off the cliff: </b>
  <span>ok i’m morbidly curious i want to know what all of you put on your shirts right now</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>will follow james off the cliff: </b>
  <span>mine’s “i’m not the hottest person in this room”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pls eat something before drinking: </b>
  <span>“oh yeah i can definitely handle another shot”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death: </b>
  <span>“no judgment here”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>“STR8 PRIDE BABY!!1!!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily no ur not responsible enough for that: </b>
  <span>‘i’m good at commitment”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the mom friend: </b>
  <span>they needed to be on for full effect, so</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the mom friend: </b>
  <span>Attachment - 1 Image</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the mom friend: </b>
  <span>check it</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>adlfhglajh SCREAMING</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily no ur not responsible enough for that: </b>
  <span>“we’ve fucked” oh my god i am deceased</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>lily no ur not responsible enough for that: </b>
  <span>and the ARROWS</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the stress of supervising you all will cause my early death: </b>
  <span>james you gotta be real careful, there are a lot of people you can walk by to make that shirt not actually a lie</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the friend who jumps off the cliff first: </b>
  <span>fuck, u right, guess i’m glued to lily’s side all night</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the mom friend: </b>
  <span>fuuuuuuuck</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the mom friend:</b>
  <span> is it too late to come up with a new shirt idea??</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the friend who jumps off the cliff first: </b>
  <span>wow evans you wound me</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the friend who jumps off the cliff first: </b>
  <span>i’m a great option to be stuck with for a whole party</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the friend who jumps off the cliff first: </b>
  <span>remember the time we were handcuffed all night</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the mom friend: </b>
  <span>ah yes, the time you insisted we needed to run top-speed through the campus gardens to ‘make the flower colors blend together’ and you then proceeded to drag me and scrape the shit out of my knees? that time??</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pls eat something before drinking:</b>
  <span> ooh james, you might need aloe for that burn</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the friend who jumps off the cliff first: </b>
  <span>let the record show that i also both carried her all the way home and bought her bottomless brunch the next morning</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the friend who jumps off the cliff first: </b>
  <span>but evans i promise i will not make you run tonight</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the mom friend: </b>
  <span>thank you for hitting the lowest bar</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>bitch pack friends from the city</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>lily evans [betty], mary mcdonald [rebekah], marlene mckinnon [inez]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>rebekah: </b>
  <span>lil should we assume that you’re ubering from the boys’ house to the prewetts</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>betty: </b>
  <span>yeah i am</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>rebekah: </b>
  <span>ok we’ll see you there then</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>inez: </b>
  <span>the good news is you’ll be easier to find bc you’ll be stuck to james</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>betty: </b>
  <span>how does that make me easier to find</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>betty: </b>
  <span>i have red hair i’m already the easiest person to find</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>inez: </b>
  <span>ah, but james has height</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>inez: </b>
  <span>that’s a lot more helpful from a distance</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>bachelor pad and the freeloader</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>james potter [actual resident #1], sirius black [actual resident #2], peter pettigrew [actual resident #3], remus lupin [actual resident #4], lily evans [i’m not freeloading i don’t even sleep there]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>i’m not freeloading i don’t even sleep there: </b>
  <span>fyi you guys are out of chips</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>actual resident #2: </b>
  <span>did you eat the last bag???</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>actual resident #2: </b>
  <span>i stg you eat all our best food</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>i’m not freeloading i don’t even sleep there: </b>
  <span>… i had one singular bag of chips</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>i’m not freeloading i don’t even sleep there: </b>
  <span>i feel like this is the least i deserve for literally cooking dinner for the rest of you three nights a week</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>actual resident #4: </b>
  <span>you did eat the last of the phish food ice cream last week</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>actual resident #3: </b>
  <span>and the last toaster waffle two weeks ago</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>i’m not freeloading i don’t even sleep there: </b>
  <span>i’m honestly feeling so attacked right now</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>actual resident #2: </b>
  <span>as you should be</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>actual resident #1: </b>
  <span>as i am currently sitting next to lily i will refrain from commenting because she’s glaring daggers and me and i feel like she will try to push me off the couch if i say anything to confirm her food-stealing ways</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>actual resident #1: </b>
  <span>update she pushed me anyways</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>how are we all still alive</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>lily evans [the mom friend], mary mcdonald [lily no ur not responsible enough for that], marlene mckinnon [the dad friend], james potter [the friend who jumps off the cliff first], sirius black [will follow james off the cliff], peter pettigrew [pls eat something before drinking], remus lupin [the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>someone off me right fucking now</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>take me out of my misery</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>or at least come take my phone from me and supervise me all night so that i don’t do anything stupid</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily no ur not responsible enough for that: </b>
  <span>dorcas is here???</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>YES</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>i didn’t even know she knew the prewetts</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death: </b>
  <span>yeah wow, what are the odds</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>did you know</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death: </b>
  <span>what makes you say that</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>idk you just seemed suspicious</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>and you not giving a firm answer now makes me even more suspicious</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>remus john lupin i can see you trying to run away from me don’t you DARE</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>mary mcdonald, peter pettigrew</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>mary mcdonald: </b>
  <span>ok i know this is going to be considered a questionable take</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>mary mcdonald: </b>
  <span>but... lily and james would actually make a really good couple??</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>mary mcdonald: </b>
  <span>i mean i know james is even more allergic to commitment than i am and lily literally put them in shirts that scream ‘we feel no sexual attraction to one another’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>mary mcdonald: </b>
  <span>but idk</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>peter pettigrew: </b>
  <span>no i can see it</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>peter pettigrew: </b>
  <span>except now i can’t see them</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>peter pettigrew: </b>
  <span>i swear both of them were by the couch just a few minutes ago and now they’re gone</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>how are we all still alive</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>lily evans [the mom friend], mary mcdonald [lily no ur not responsible enough for that], marlene mckinnon [the dad friend], james potter [the friend who jumps off the cliff first], sirius black [will follow james off the cliff], peter pettigrew [pls eat something before drinking], remus lupin [the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily no ur not responsible enough for that: </b>
  <span>has anyone seen lily recntly??</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>lily no ur not responsible enough for that: </b>
  <span>she disapperaed almost an hour ago</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>lily no ur not responsible enough for that: </b>
  <span>i even chekced upstairs, and theres nothing up thre excpet a bunch of bedrooms</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>lily no ur not responsible enough for that: </b>
  <span>which i did not go into for obvious reasosns</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>will follow james off the cliff: </b>
  <span>maybe lily ditched jam and decieded to get someeeee</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pls eat something before drinking: </b>
  <span>i also never found jam</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>pls eat something before drinking: </b>
  <span>but tbh did not looook tht hard</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>pls eat something before drinking: </b>
  <span>nd my shirt means that ppl keep givign me shoooots</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death: </b>
  <span>pete do i need to come babysit you too</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death: </b>
  <span>i’ve already got marlene</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death: </b>
  <span>she says hi, btw, but i am fulfilling my promise and keeping her phone in my pocket</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily no ur not responsible enough for that:</b>
  <span> ok updte found lilyyy</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>lily no ur not responsible enough for that:</b>
  <span> still can’t hlep you w james tho</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pls eat something before drinking:</b>
  <span> lol i bet he got stuck somewhere and can’t get back to her without his shirt telling the truth along the way</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the friend who jumps off the cliff first: </b>
  <span>shit sorry</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the friend who jumps off the cliff first: </b>
  <span>i left early</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>will follow james off the cliff: </b>
  <span>fukcing party popper</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>will follow james off the cliff: </b>
  <span>*pooper</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pls eat something before drinking: </b>
  <span>i can’t believe you abandoned your t-shirt buddy like that</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the mom friend: </b>
  <span>yeah jam how dare you</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>bitch pack friends from the city</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>lily evans [betty], mary mcdonald [rebekah], marlene mckinnon [inez]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>rebekah: </b>
  <span>ok i lost lily againnnn</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>rebekah: </b>
  <span>hve u seen her</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>rebekah: </b>
  <span>oh fork remus has ur phnoe doesnt he</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>rebekah: </b>
  <span>shit guess i’m juts talkign to meself now</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. we cry tears of mascara in the bathroom</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>dorcas meadowes, marlene mckinnon</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>dorcas meadowes: </b>
  <span>hey, i think i saw you at the prewett’s party last night?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>dorcas meadowes: </b>
  <span>i tried to find you to say hello but couldn’t</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>dorcas meadowes: </b>
  <span>i just feel like i ended our relationship on a bad note and now that it’s been a little while i just wanted to… i don’t know, talk about it?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>dorcas meadowes: </b>
  <span>anyways, all of this to say, would you want to grab coffee sometime</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>bitch pack friends from the city</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>lily evans [betty], mary mcdonald [rebekah], marlene mckinnon [inez]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>inez: </b>
  <span>Attachment - 1 Image</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>inez: </b>
  <span>HELP</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>rebekah: </b>
  <span>that’s… an unexpected twist</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>inez: </b>
  <span>what do i do</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>betty: </b>
  <span>i’d say you have two options</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>betty: </b>
  <span>1) you go to coffee with her, see what happens</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>betty:</b>
  <span> 2) you block her number</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>rebekah: </b>
  <span>fwiw it sounds like she actually feels bad about how it all went down</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>rebekah: </b>
  <span>i don’t think getting coffee with her would be the worst thing</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>rebekah: </b>
  <span>also given how much she’s been around lately, i still maintain that the whole desensitising yourself to her thing would be good for you</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>inez: </b>
  <span>ugh</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>inez: </b>
  <span>i mean, you’re right, but ugh</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>dorcas meadowes, marlene mckinnon</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>marlene mckinnon: </b>
  <span>yeah, i think that’d be good</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>dorcas meadowes: </b>
  <span>great!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>dorcas meadowes: </b>
  <span>are you free wednesday afternoon?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>marlene mckinnon: </b>
  <span>after 3, yeah</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>dorcas meadowes: </b>
  <span>three broomsticks at 3:30 work?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>marlene mckinnon: </b>
  <span>yep</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>dorcas meadowes: </b>
  <span>see you then :)</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>bitch pack friends from the city</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>lily evans [betty], mary mcdonald [rebekah], marlene mckinnon [inez]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>inez: </b>
  <span>i’m back in my sad existence of overanalyzing smiley faces i hate it here</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>rebekah: </b>
  <span>who among us has not overanalyzed a smiley face</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>rebekah: </b>
  <span>the only smiley faces i consistently trust are lily’s and that’s because lily only uses smiley faces when she secretly wants to kill you or is hatching some evil plan</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>betty: </b>
  <span>i feel seen</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>betty: </b>
  <span>but dorcas seems like the type to only send smiley faces when she’s actually sincere about them??</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>betty: </b>
  <span>so i think you’re probably fine</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>inez: </b>
  <span>ugh fuck i hope so</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>inez: </b>
  <span>we’re getting coffee at three broomsticks on wednesday at 3:30</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>inez: </b>
  <span>it’s going to be reallllll awkward if shit goes down poorly</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>inez: </b>
  <span>i like that coffee shop too much to have to give it up bc i caused a scene and poured coffee on my ex-gf</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>betty: </b>
  <span>you want backup?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>betty: </b>
  <span>like, not there with you, but just to step in if shit gets weird or someone looks like they’re about to pour coffee on anyone else</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>inez: </b>
  <span>lol how tf are you going to get away with spying on me</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>betty: </b>
  <span>i have an idea :)</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>rebekah: </b>
  <span>oh no it’s the lily evans smiley face of doom</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>rebekah: </b>
  <span>it’s all over</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>james potter, lily evans</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans: </b>
  <span>coffee date at three broomsticks at 3:30 on wednesday?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>yes</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans: </b>
  <span>well not really a date, we’re going to spy on marlene and dorcas’ conversation so that i can step in before anyone pours a coffee on anyone else</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>oh</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>still yes</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans: </b>
  <span>ur the best</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans: </b>
  <span>actually wait no i take that back that’s gonna inflate your ego too much</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>TOO LATE</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>I’M THE BEST</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans: </b>
  <span>the best at driving me absolutely insane</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>that still makes me the best</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>lily evans, mary mcdonald</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>mary mcdonald: </b>
  <span>are you at three broomsticks yet?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>mary mcdonald: </b>
  <span>i would like to request live updates</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans: </b>
  <span>yeah james and i are at a table in the back</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans: </b>
  <span>marley got here early so she’s up at one of the front tables waiting</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>mary mcdonald: </b>
  <span>also i still find it hilarious that you looped james into going on a fake date with you</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans: </b>
  <span>lol it was easy</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans: </b>
  <span>he’s always up for a chance to be in on the gossip</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans: </b>
  <span>update dorcas is here</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans: </b>
  <span>marley successfully picked up her coffee order without spilling it</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans: </b>
  <span>no one has started screaming or crying</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans: </b>
  <span>i think marlene just smiled??</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans: </b>
  <span>final update, dorcas just left and honestly that looked downright pleasant</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans: </b>
  <span>honestly went better than what james and i are doing, he almost got us kicked out of the coffee shop for hitting someone in the head with a muffin wrapper</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans: </b>
  <span>qqqqqqqqqqqqq that is SLANDER i was aiming for the trash can someone moved at the last minute</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>mary mcdonald: </b>
  <span>hi james</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans: </b>
  <span>hi mary</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>how are we all still alive</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>lily evans [the mom friend], mary mcdonald [lily no ur not responsible enough for that], marlene mckinnon [the dad friend], james potter [the friend who jumps off the cliff first], sirius black [will follow james off the cliff], peter pettigrew [pls eat something before drinking], remus lupin [the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily no ur not responsible enough for that: </b>
  <span>is anyone going out tonight</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pls eat something before drinking: </b>
  <span>nah, the five of us are watching the episode of avatar where sokka’s girlfriend turns into the moon</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>dammit, hog’s head has half off margs all night</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>and i don’t wanna go alone</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>will follow james off the cliff: </b>
  <span>that’s rough buddy</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the mom friend: </b>
  <span>you could ask ~ dorcas ~</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>just bc we are trying to be civil again does not mean i am in a state to get tequila drunk around her</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>that will crush whatever tentative thing we have going we have into a thousand little pieces</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>and i will die of embarrassment atop the shards</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>a death by a thousand cuts</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death:</b>
  <span> marlene oh god do you know what you’ve unleashed</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>let me guess, james and lily are now belting taylor swift</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death:</b>
  <span> surprisingly, just lily this time</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death:</b>
  <span> it’s very much ruining the vibe of the invasion of the northern water tribe</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>will follow james off the cliff:</b>
  <span> lily, you need to go somewhere else, you're being annoying</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the friend who jumps off the cliff first:</b>
  <span> yeah evans get out</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the mom friend:</b>
  <span> okay then</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily no ur not responsible enough for that:</b>
  <span> let me guess, lily just stormed out of the house for dramatic effect</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death:</b>
  <span> yes</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death:</b>
  <span> james went after her</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death:</b>
  <span> she literally doesn’t have a way to get home from here bc pete picked her up from the lab so idk what the logic is behind this</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend:</b>
  <span> there is no logic</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <b>lily no ur not responsible enough for that:</b>
  <span> we stan one (1) overly dramatic queen</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. honey, life is just a classroom</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>world’s greatest bachelor pad</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>james potter [world’s biggest heartbreaker], sirius black [world’s sexiest man alive], peter pettigrew [world’s best chef], remus lupin [these nicknames are stupid]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p><p>
  <b>world’s best chef: </b>
  <span>where the fuck is everyone</span>
</p><p>
  <b>world’s best chef: </b>
  <span>it is 9 am on a sunday this house is literally never empty at this hour</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>world’s biggest heartbreaker: </b>
  <span>idk i just went out to get a coffee bc we’re out of cold brew, i’ll be back soon</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>these nicknames are stupid: </b>
  <span>library</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>world’s sexiest man alive: </b>
  <span>gym</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>james potter, peter pettigrew</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p><p>
  <b>peter pettigrew: </b>
  <span>they’re definitely at 11 now</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>oh 100%</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>how are we all still alive</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>lily evans [the mom friend], mary mcdonald [lily no ur not responsible enough for that], marlene mckinnon [the dad friend], james potter [the friend who jumps off the cliff first], sirius black [will follow james off the cliff], peter pettigrew [pls eat something before drinking], remus lupin [the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p><p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death: </b>
  <span>where is lily</span>
</p><p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death: </b>
  <span>i need her ochem outline</span>
</p><p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death: </b>
  <span>and she’s not answering my texts</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>the dad friend:</b>
  <span> she said she was doing a solo movie at the amc</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>will follow james off the cliff: </b>
  <span>people go to movies alone???</span>
</p><p>
  <b>will follow james off the cliff: </b>
  <span>what’s the point</span>
</p><p>
  <b>will follow james off the cliff: </b>
  <span>that sounds boring</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death: </b>
  <span>unlike SOME PEOPLE, most of us are actually trying to pay attention to the movie</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>will follow james off the cliff: </b>
  <span>i repeat, that sounds boring</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death: </b>
  <span>one of these days i will roll my eyes so hard they get stuck that way</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>oh also</span>
</p><p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>complete unrelated but</span>
</p><p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>hog’s head is apparently doing half-off margs again on wednesday</span>
</p><p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>can we plssssssss go this time</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>lily no ur not responsible enough for that: </b>
  <span>i’m absolutely in</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>pls eat something before drinking: </b>
  <span>i think our house will be in</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>will follow james off the cliff: </b>
  <span>me + tequila is the dream team, so obv</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death: </b>
  <span>i’ve got a test on wednesday so will def be down to drink afterwards</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>pls eat something before drinking: </b>
  <span>james??</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>dorcas meadowes, marlene mckinnon</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p><p>
  <b>dorcas meadowes: </b>
  <span>hey, i just got to three broomsticks for my shift and i think i saw you at one of the tables in the back</span>
</p><p>
  <b>dorcas meadowes: </b>
  <span>you want anything? my treat</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>marlene mckinnon: </b>
  <span>i’m fine! i had a latte a few hours ago</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>dorcas meadowes: </b>
  <span>you sure? i can make you that concoction i mentioned the other day?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>marlene mckinnon: </b>
  <span>….. okay</span>
</p><p>
  <b>marlene mckinnon: </b>
  <span>that shit sounded delicious</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>dorcas meadowes: </b>
  <span>it is</span>
</p><p>
  <b>dorcas meadowes: </b>
  <span>will bring it to you in 5</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>how are we all still alive</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>lily evans [the mom friend], mary mcdonald [lily no ur not responsible enough for that], marlene mckinnon [the dad friend], james potter [the friend who jumps off the cliff first], sirius black [will follow james off the cliff], peter pettigrew [pls eat something before drinking], remus lupin [the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p><p>
  <b>the friend who jumps off the cliff first:</b>
  <span> oh, i’m in</span>
</p><p>
  <b>the friend who jumps off the cliff first:</b>
  <span> sorry i missed that earlier, just got out of a movie</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>pls eat something before drinking:</b>
  <span> damn what is it with everyone going to the movies today </span>
</p><p>
  <b>pls eat something before drinking:</b>
  <span> if you see lily tell her hi</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>the friend who jumps off the cliff first:</b>
  <span> lily’s here??</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>the dad friend:</b>
  <span> literally scroll up and read</span>
</p><p>
  <b>the dad friend:</b>
  <span> yes</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>the mom friend:</b>
  <span> Attachment - 1 Image</span>
</p><p>
  <b>the mom friend:</b>
  <span> found him</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>the friend who jumps off the cliff first:</b>
  <span> taking a pic of me from behind and not bothering to say hello??</span>
</p><p>
  <b>the friend who jumps off the cliff first:</b>
  <span> that’s some serious creeper vibes evans   </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>bachelor pad and the freeloader</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>james potter [actual resident #1], sirius black [actual resident #2], peter pettigrew [actual resident #3], remus lupin [actual resident #4], lily evans [i’m not freeloading i don’t even sleep there]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p><p>
  <b>i’m not freeloading i don’t even sleep there: </b>
  <span>hey mary wants in on our atla watch parties </span>
</p><p>
  <b>i’m not freeloading i don’t even sleep there: </b>
  <span>are you guys ok with that?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>actual resident #1:</b>
  <span> hell yeah</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>actual resident #3:</b>
  <span> the more the merrier</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>group message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>lily evans, james potter, mary mcdonald, sirius black, remus lupin, peter pettigrew</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>lily evans </span>
  </em>
  <span>changed the group name to </span>
  <b>the gaang</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>sirius black </span>
  </em>
  <span>changed their name to </span>
  <em>
    <span>firelord zuko</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>firelord zuko: </b>
  <span>everyone needs to be an avatar character in this chat i don’t make the rules</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>peter pettigrew: </b>
  <span>you literally just made the rules</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>peter pettigrew </span>
  </em>
  <span>changed their name to </span>
  <em>
    <span>uncle iroh</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>james potter </span>
  </em>
  <span>changed their name to </span>
  <em>
    <span>boomerang boy</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>lily evans </span>
  </em>
  <span>changed their name to </span>
  <em>
    <span>suki</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>remus lupin: </b>
  <span>idk what character i am???</span>
</p><p>
  <b>remus lupin: </b>
  <span>like i’m definitely not aang but i am also definitely not azula/mai/ty lee</span>
</p><p>
  <b>remus lupin: </b>
  <span>or toph for that matter</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>uncle iroh: </b>
  <span>you’re definitely katara</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>remus lupin: </b>
  <span>what</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>firelord zuko: </b>
  <span>yessssss ultimate mom friend</span>
</p><p>
  <b>firelord zuko: </b>
  <span>also!! you get your power from the moon!!</span>
</p><p>
  <b>firelord zuko: </b>
  <span>remember when we all made up nicknames as kids that one time and you decided to be moony for some weird reason??</span>
</p><p>
  <b>firelord zuko: </b>
  <span>it’s literally too perfect you cannot be anyone else now</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>remus lupin: </b>
  <span>ugh fine</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>remus lupin </span>
  </em>
  <span>changed their name to </span>
  <em>
    <span>katara</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>mary mcdonald </span>
  </em>
  <span>changed their name to </span>
  <em>
    <span>appa (aka carrying this whole show on my back both literally and figuratively)</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>boomerang boy: </b>
  <em>
    <span>@appa (aka carrying this whole show on my back both literally and figuratively) </span>
  </em>
  <span>damn right you are</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>firelord zuko: </b>
  <span>we’ll resume on sunday with the siege of the north part 2 since SOMEONE had to interrupt it last time</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>suki: </b>
  <span>oops :)</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>james potter, lily evans</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p><p>
  <b>lily evans: </b>
  <span>is now a good time to chime in that i highkey ship zutara orrrrrrrrr</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>do you also “highkey ship” sukka</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <b>lily evans: </b>
  <span>obviously</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>apparently i write these chapters in sets of 2 now</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. 'cause baby i could build a castle out of all the bricks they threw at me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>how are we all still alive</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>lily evans [the mom friend], mary mcdonald [lily no ur not responsible enough for that], marlene mckinnon [the dad friend], james potter [the friend who jumps off the cliff first], sirius black [will follow james off the cliff], peter pettigrew [pls eat something before drinking], remus lupin [the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death:</b>
  <span> yo where the hell did all of you go</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend:</b>
  <span> playground</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death:</b>
  <span> …… what playgrpund???</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend:</b>
  <span> idk we found one on th way home from the bar</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend:</b>
  <span> and james wanted to go down the slide so here we aare</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death:</b>
  <span> oh my god</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend:</b>
  <span> siriuus is currently on top ofthe jungle gym</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend:</b>
  <span> i wanna see if i can wsing high enouggh to spin alll the way around</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death:</b>
  <span> good god</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death:</b>
  <span> no one shodl ever give u half-off margs agaiin</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>the dad friend shared their location</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>lupin get ur ass ovre here and go down the ducking slide</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death:</b>
  <span> comign</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>bitch pack friends from the city</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>lily evans [betty], mary mcdonald [rebekah], marlene mckinnon [inez]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>inez: </b>
  <span>holy shit i am so hungover</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>rebekah: </b>
  <span>same</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>rebekah: </b>
  <span>actually i may still be a lil drunk</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>inez: </b>
  <span>possibly same</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>rebekah: </b>
  <span>why did we get this drunk on a wednesday</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>inez: </b>
  <span>because half-off margs</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>inez: </b>
  <span>and i’d do it again babyyyyyy</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>inez: </b>
  <span>although maybe not the playground swings part</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>inez: </b>
  <span>i’m STILL dizzy</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>inez: </b>
  <span>although maybe that’s just the tequila</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>rebekah: </b>
  <span>ugh don’t say that word</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>rebekah: </b>
  <span>the mere mention of tequila makes me want to vomit right now</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>rebekah: </b>
  <span>also i have class in 20 and i am absolutely not in a state to drive to campus rn</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>rebekah: </b>
  <em>
    <span>@betty </span>
  </em>
  <span>are you up and possibly miraculously not hungover??</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>inez: </b>
  <span>she’s definitely up, she was on the phone earlier</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>betty: </b>
  <span>yeah i’m up</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>betty: </b>
  <span>wait why did you think i was on the phone??</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>inez: </b>
  <span>when i walked by your room earlier you were talking to someone</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>inez: </b>
  <span>i assumed you were on the phone bc i figured you weren’t talking to yourself</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>betty: </b>
  <span>oh</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>betty: </b>
  <span>yeah i was</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>betty: </b>
  <span>anyways, yeah i can drive you to campus, just give me like 5 minutes</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>rebekah: </b>
  <span>you’re literally a godsend</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>remus lupin, sirius black</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>i’m dead</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>it is 7pm and i am *still* hungover</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>what did i do to deserve this</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>remus lupin: </b>
  <span>maybe drink 10 margaritas??</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>get out of here with your logic</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>i’m DYING</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>remus lupin: </b>
  <span>that’s rough buddy</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>did you just</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>did you just zuko me</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>remus lupin: </b>
  <span>i did</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>i cannot believe you would use zuko</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>my atla likeness</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>against me like that</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>i am the only one who is allowed to ‘that’s rough buddy’ anyone</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>my honor has been besmirched</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>remus lupin: </b>
  <span>well good luck finding the avatar</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>i will never forgive you for this transgression</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>remus lupin: </b>
  <span>not even if i tell you i’m about to place a takeout order at the diner up the street and i can pick you up something while i’m at it?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>oh FUCK</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>ok you’re forgiven</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>pls get me a triple bacon cheeseburger a side of onion rings and a corndog</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>how are we all still alive</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>lily evans [the mom friend], mary mcdonald [lily no ur not responsible enough for that], marlene mckinnon [the dad friend], james potter [the friend who jumps off the cliff first], sirius black [will follow james off the cliff], peter pettigrew [pls eat something before drinking], remus lupin [the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>greetings</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>since we’re somehow *all* pathetically single this year, anyone wanna make plans to get absolutely fuckin trashed on valentine’s day to celebrate being lonely as shit</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>will follow james off the cliff:</b>
  <span> of course</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the friend who jumps off the cliff first:</b>
  <span> lily and i already have plans</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>will follow james off the cliff:</b>
  <span> wow thanks for the invite</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the friend who jumps off the cliff first:</b>
  <span> lol sorry, we’re going into the city to see a show and i figured that wasn’t exactly anyone else’s scene</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily no ur not responsible enough for that:</b>
  <span> you were correct on that front</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>alright so lily and james are being lame, but who else is in</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily no ur not responsible enough for that: </b>
  <span>me obviously</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pls eat something before drinking: </b>
  <span>remus and i are also in</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <em>
    <span>@the friend who jumps off the cliff first @the mom friend </span>
  </em>
  <span>there’s a very high chance we will all still be drinking when y’all get back from your bougie city shit, so you two better show up and take some shots</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the mom friend: </b>
  <span>… i am tempted</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the mom friend: </b>
  <span>although i have to be at the lab super early the next day so will be tbd</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily no ur not responsible enough for that: </b>
  <span>booooo lame</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the mom friend: </b>
  <span>i’m just trying to be responsible enough to live up to my gc name let me have this one rare moment of good decision-making</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>lily no ur not responsible enough for that </span>
  </em>
  <span>changed their name to</span>
  <em>
    <span> lily no ur not allowed to be responsible</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the mom friend: </b>
  <span>i literally cannot win</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. every day is like a battle, but every night with us is like a dream</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>marlene mckinnon, dorcas meadowes</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>marlene mckinnon: </b>
  <span>are you working today</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>dorcas meadowes: </b>
  <span>yeah my shift starts at 3</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>dorcas meadowes: </b>
  <span>why?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>marlene mckinnon: </b>
  <span>i finally finished one of us is lying</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>marlene mckinnon: </b>
  <span>and i have FEELINGS about it</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>dorcas meadowes: </b>
  <span>oh god</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>dorcas meadowes: </b>
  <span>i’ll be there 15 minutes early</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>marlene mckinnon: </b>
  <span>thank god</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>how are we all still alive</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>lily evans [the mom friend], mary mcdonald [lily no ur not allowed to be responsible], marlene mckinnon [the dad friend], james potter [the friend who jumps off the cliff first], sirius black [will follow james off the cliff], peter pettigrew [pls eat something before drinking], remus lupin [the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>question</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>are y’all good with me inviting dorcas to the valentine’s day thing</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>i was just hanging out with her and she doesn’t have plans</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death: </b>
  <span>i feel like that’s not an us question</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death: </b>
  <span>that’s more of a you question</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily no ur not allowed to be responsible: </b>
  <span>that’s rich coming from the person who invited her to your house party last month</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death: </b>
  <span>i diDN’T KNOW</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily no ur not allowed to be responsible: </b>
  <span>but yeah marley i’m fine with it as long as you are</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>will follow james off the cliff: </b>
  <span>rt</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pls eat something before drinking: </b>
  <span>same</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>pls eat something before drinking: </b>
  <span>and that makes a unanimous opinion</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death: </b>
  <span>i never said anything either way?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pls eat something before drinking: </b>
  <span>yes but for aforementioned reasons your vote doesn’t count</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death: </b>
  <span>this is an insult to democracy</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>bold of you to assume this friendship is a democracy</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death: </b>
  <span>you literally asked for votes before making a decision??</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>i did that to be polite</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>i’d already invited her</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>will follow james off the cliff: </b>
  <span>wow</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>mary mcdonald, peter pettigrew</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>mary mcdonald: </b>
  <span>so this ‘we’re all single on valentines day’ thing is now two not-couples-but-almost-couples and then the two of us</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>peter pettigrew: </b>
  <span>yep</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>mary mcdonald: </b>
  <span>fucking ace</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>peter pettigrew: </b>
  <span>where are lily and james when you need them</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>mary mcdonald: </b>
  <span>at some exceptionally dumb show in the city, apparently</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>mary mcdonald: </b>
  <span>honestly idk why they decided to go on valentine’s day, they’re just gonna end up surrounded by couples</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>peter pettigrew: </b>
  <span>yeahh that was definitely some questionable logic on their parts</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>how are we all still alive</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>lily evans [the mom friend], mary mcdonald [lily no ur not allowed to be responsible], marlene mckinnon [the dad friend], james potter [the friend who jumps off the cliff first], sirius black [will follow james off the cliff], peter pettigrew [pls eat something before drinking], remus lupin [the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>what time are we starting on wednesday?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>dorcas just texted me to ask and i realised i didn’t know</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pls eat something before drinking: </b>
  <span>7?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>will follow james off the cliff: </b>
  <span>i’m good with that</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>dorcas meadowes, marlene mckinnon</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>marlene mckinnon: </b>
  <span>ok it’s starting at 7</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>dorcas meadowes: </b>
  <span>great :) do i need to bring anything?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>marlene mckinnon: </b>
  <span>ooh good question, idk if it’s byob or not</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>marlene mckinnon: </b>
  <span>i’ll ask and let you know</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>marlene mckinnon: </b>
  <span>or actually, better yet</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>how are we all still alive</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>lily evans [the mom friend], mary mcdonald [lily no ur not allowed to be responsible], marlene mckinnon [the dad friend], james potter [the friend who jumps off the cliff first], sirius black [will follow james off the cliff], peter pettigrew [pls eat something before drinking], remus lupin [the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>fuck it can i just add her to this groupchat</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>will follow james off the cliff: </b>
  <span>i would answer but i feel like based on past conversations you don’t actually care what we say and are going to add her anyways</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>right-o, buddy</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>the dad friend </span>
  </em>
  <span>added </span>
  <em>
    <span>dorcas meadowes</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>welcome to the chaos</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>your first task is to come up with a new name</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>we sort of have a theme going on but not really</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death: </b>
  <span>just please don’t follow james and sirius’ lead</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>dorcas meadowes </span>
  </em>
  <span>changed their name to </span>
  <em>
    <span>lighten up lupin</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lighten up lupin: </b>
  <span>how’s that?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>adskjhglajfh</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the friend who jumps off the cliff first: </b>
  <span>dorcas coming in hot</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>no lily ur not allowed to be responsible: </b>
  <span>incredible. absolutely incredible.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>world’s greatest bachelor pad</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>james potter [world’s biggest heartbreaker], sirius black [world’s sexiest man alive], peter pettigrew [world’s best chef], remus lupin [these nicknames are stupid]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>world’s sexiest man alive: </b>
  <span>james if ur bakc from the cty were at hosg head agaiin</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>these nicknames are stupid: </b>
  <span>jamesssssssss</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>these nicknames are stupid: </b>
  <span>get ur ass to this bar</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>these nicknames are stupid: </b>
  <span>just bc liily is begin resoinpoble doesnt’ mean u hvae 2 b</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>james potter, peter pettigrew</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>peter pettigrew: </b>
  <span>it’s gonna be 12 tonight, i’m calling it</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <b>peter pettigrew: </b>
  <span>… yep, called it</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. heartbreak is the national anthem, we sing it proudly</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>lily evans, remus lupin</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans:</b>
  <span> jamesssssss</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans:</b>
  <span> you didn’t go out tonight right</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans:</b>
  <span> can u come pikc me up</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>remus lupin:</b>
  <span> not james</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans:</b>
  <span> motherfucker</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>lily evans, sirius black</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans:</b>
  <span> jamesssssss</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black:</b>
  <span> lily ffs read your contact names</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black:</b>
  <span> james is on his way to your location</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans:</b>
  <span> bless yuo</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>james potter, lily evans</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>i’m outside</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans:</b>
  <span> ur th ebest uber ever</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans:</b>
  <span> i will thank you approropriatly</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter:</b>
  <span> i’m very intrigued to find out what you mean by that</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>how are we all still alive</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>lily evans [the mom friend], mary mcdonald [lily no ur not allowed to be responsible], marlene mckinnon [the dad friend], james potter [the friend who jumps off the cliff first], sirius black [will follow james off the cliff], peter pettigrew [pls eat something before drinking], remus lupin [the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death], dorcas meadowes [lighten up lupin]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily no ur not allowed to be responsible:</b>
  <span> ummm has anyone seen lily?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>lily no ur not allowed to be responsible:</b>
  <span> i left the bar before she did and she’s not home this morning</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death:</b>
  <span> that’s weird</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death:</b>
  <span> james definitely picked her up</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death:</b>
  <span> after she texted like half her contacts thinking everyone was james</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the mom friend:</b>
  <span> hello</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the mom friend:</b>
  <span> i’m fine i slept on the floor in james’ room</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the mom friend:</b>
  <span> i left my apartment key at home when i went out bc i’m a dumbass</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pls eat something before drinking:</b>
  <span> can’t believe james made you sleep on the floor</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>will follow james off the cliff: </b>
  <span>yeah really</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>will follow james off the cliff: </b>
  <span>euphemia raised us better than that</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>bachelor pad and the freeloader</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>james potter [actual resident #1], sirius black [actual resident #2], peter pettigrew [actual resident #3], remus lupin [actual resident #4], lily evans [i’m not freeloading i don’t even sleep there]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>actual resident #2:</b>
  <span> you know what this means</span>
</p>
<p><b>actual resident #2:</b> <em><span>@i’m not freeloading i don’t even sleep there</span></em><span> you are now legally required to change your name in this chat</span></p>
<p>
  <b>actual resident #2:</b>
  <span> as it is now inaccurate</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>i’m not freeloading i don’t even sleep there: </b>
  <span>ffs</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>i’m not freeloading i don’t even sleep there</span>
  </em>
  <span> changed their name to </span>
  <em>
    <span>i slept there *once*</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>actual resident #4:</b>
  <span> i don’t get why you at least didn’t sleep on the couch</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>actual resident #4:</b>
  <span> james’ floor is gross</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>actual resident #1:</b>
  <span> excuse you my floor is perfectly clean</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>i slept there *once*:</b>
  <span> look i was drunk and his floor was soft</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>actual resident #1:</b>
  <span> for the record i did try to offer my bed to her</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>actual resident #1: </b>
  <span>she refused</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>actual resident #1: </b>
  <span>have YOU ever tried to convince a drunk lily to do something she didn’t want to do</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>actual resident #2:</b>
  <span> … point taken</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>the gaang</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>sirius black [firelord zuko], remus lupin [katara], james potter [boomerang boy], lily evans [suki], peter pettigrew [uncle iroh], mary mcdonald [appa (aka carrying this whole show on my back both literally and figuratively)]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>firelord zuko: </b>
  <span>hello who is ready for the sad appa episode</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>appa (aka carrying this whole show on my back both literally and figuratively):</b>
  <span> i am not but i do suppose it is a vital part of the rewatch</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>appa (aka carrying this whole show on my back both literally and figuratively):</b>
  <span> i’ll just stress eat the whole time</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>uncle iroh: </b>
  <span>you are so valid</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>firelord zuko: </b>
  <span>this friday?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>suki: </b>
  <span>i’m good with that</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>katara: </b>
  <span>i can’t do friday</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>firelord zuko: </b>
  <span>why?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>katara: </b>
  <span>it’s nbd i just can’t</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>firelord zuko: </b>
  <span>… okay</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>firelord zuko: </b>
  <span>sunday then?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>katara: </b>
  <span>works for me</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>how are we all still alive</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>lily evans [the mom friend], mary mcdonald [lily no ur not allowed to be responsible], marlene mckinnon [the dad friend], james potter [the friend who jumps off the cliff first], sirius black [will follow james off the cliff], peter pettigrew [pls eat something before drinking], remus lupin [the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death], dorcas meadowes [lighten up lupin]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend:</b>
  <span> anyone have dearborn’s phone number</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>sirius??</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>will follow james off the cliff: </b>
  <span>why are you asking me specifically about dearborn’s phone number</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>will follow james off the cliff: </b>
  <span>i’m not the only person who buys weed from him</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>will follow james off the cliff: </b>
  <span>literally anyone else in this chat probably has his number too</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>oooookay then, moving on</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>anyone *else* have dearborn’s phone number</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pls eat something before drinking: </b>
  <span>yeah hold on i’ll send it to you</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>james potter, sirius black</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>do you want to talk about it</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black:</b>
  <span> about what</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter:</b>
  <span> about whatever has you in a major fucking mood in the gc</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>and don’t try to deny it, i have known you for too long for that shit</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>you only get snappy with people like that when you’re upset about something</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>how are we all still alive</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>lily evans [the mom friend], mary mcdonald [lily no ur not allowed to be responsible], marlene mckinnon [the dad friend], james potter [the friend who jumps off the cliff first], sirius black [will follow james off the cliff], peter pettigrew [pls eat something before drinking], remus lupin [the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death], dorcas meadowes [lighten up lupin]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>hold the fucking phone</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend:</b>
  <span> remus john lupin</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend:</b>
  <span> you have a DATE?????</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend:</b>
  <span> and you didn’t share this information with the rest of the class???</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>i had to find this information out from our fucking weed dealer like some sort of peasant getting secondhand gossip???</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>james potter, sirius black</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>that</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>what just happened in the gc</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>that’s your answer</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. we are too busy dancing to get knocked off our feet</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em> james potter, sirius black </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p><p><b>james potter:</b> remus having a date?</p><p><b>james potter:</b> THAT’S what’s got you upset??</p><p><b>james potter:</b> oh</p><p><b>james potter:</b> OH</p><p><b>james potter: </b>FUCK</p><p> </p><p><b>sirius black:</b> yeah</p><p> </p><p><b>james potter:</b> does remus know??</p><p> </p><p><b>sirius black:</b> that i violated the cardinal rule of our unspoken ‘we hook up on occasion but it doesn’t mean anything and we can stay friends’ arrangement??</p><p><b>sirius black:</b> fuck no</p><p><b>sirius black:</b> i know that i don’t have a right to be mad at him so that’s why i’m just not saying anything</p><p> </p><p><b>james potter:</b> hmm yeah</p><p> </p><p><b>sirius black: </b>i need to get over him</p><p> </p><p><b>james potter:</b> is that what you want?</p><p> </p><p><b>sirius black:</b> how did you get over lily</p><p><b>sirius black:</b> after the whole having a crush on her for the entirety of freshman year thing</p><p> </p><p><b>james potter:</b> um</p><p><b>james potter:</b> idk</p><p><b>james potter: </b>but definitely not by sleeping with her like you’re doing with remus</p><p><b>james potter:</b> i think that part’s gonna keep making things worse</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em> james potter, lily evans </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p><p><b>james potter: </b>wanna hear a funny story</p><p> </p><p><b>lily evans: </b>i’m currently having to endure listening to greasebag talk about his shit experiment with slughorn bc he’s talking loud enough that the entire lab can hear so yes please, anything to distract me from resorting to pulling my own hair out</p><p> </p><p><b>james potter: </b>pls don’t resort to pulling your hair out</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>bitch pack friends from the city</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em> lily evans [betty], mary mcdonald [rebekah], marlene mckinnon [inez] </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p><p><b>inez: </b>hi hello</p><p><b>inez: </b>i am having a crisis</p><p><b>inez: </b>as is my regular custom</p><p><b>inez: </b>pls help</p><p> </p><p><b>rebekah: </b>lay it on me</p><p> </p><p><b>inez: </b>neither of you are friends with any of your exes, are you?</p><p> </p><p><b>rebekah: </b>nope</p><p><b>rebekah: </b>but i mean that would require me to actually have exes around me, and i haven’t dated anyone seriously since high school, sooooo</p><p> </p><p><b>betty: </b>i still talk to my high school bf sometimes, but i wouldn’t call us friends</p><p><b>betty: </b>are we now totally unqualified to give advice</p><p> </p><p><b>inez: </b>no i still need help</p><p><b>inez: </b>i just need to know</p><p><b>inez: </b>in your perhaps unqualified opinions</p><p><b>inez: </b>what does it mean when one ex who is now a friend kisses the other ex who is now a friend goodbye??</p><p><b>inez: </b>is this a normal ex thing??</p><p><b>inez: </b>did i miss some update on the rules of exes who are now friends??</p><p> </p><p><b>rebekah: </b>okay wow</p><p><b>rebekah: </b>is this a… thing that has been happening the entire time you guys have been friends?</p><p> </p><p><b>inez: </b>no</p><p><b>inez: </b>today was the first time</p><p><b>inez: </b>she kissed me and then left the coffee shop and honestly i didn’t even realise something weird had happened until like five minutes later</p><p> </p><p><b>betty: </b>yeah no in my perhaps unqualified opinion that is not a normal ex thing</p><p> </p><p><b>rebekah: </b>absolutely not</p><p> </p><p><b>inez: </b>that’s what i figured</p><p><b>inez: </b>do i…… ask her about it?</p><p><b>inez: </b>do i wait and see if she brings it up first?</p><p><b>inez: </b>do i pretend it didn’t happen??</p><p><b>inez: </b>i am out of my depth here</p><p> </p><p><b>betty: </b>i think this is a very out of depth situation in general</p><p><b>betty: </b>but um</p><p><b>betty: </b>it might be somewhat important to determine how you felt about it before you determine how you want to handle it</p><p> </p><p><b>inez: </b>aejlhgjhglvtajr;h</p><p> </p><p><b>rebekah: </b>so clearly you have very collected emotions about this</p><p> </p><p><b>inez: </b>;AJLHGJAFGHADJHFGA;DO</p><p> </p><p><b>rebekah: </b>good, good</p><p> </p><p><b>inez: </b>i think i know the answer but also i don’t wanna know the answer you feel</p><p> </p><p><b>betty: </b>weirdly enough, yes, i think i feel</p><p> </p><p><b>inez: </b>so… that’s a thing i guess</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>world’s greatest bachelor pad</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em> james potter [world’s biggest heartbreaker], sirius black [world’s sexiest man alive], peter pettigrew [world’s best chef], remus lupin [these nicknames are stupid] </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p><p><b>world’s best chef: </b>um</p><p><b>world’s best chef: </b>someone wanna explain why it looks like a tornado swept through the kitchen</p><p> </p><p><b>these nicknames are stupid: </b>idk it was like that when i got home last night</p><p> </p><p><b>world’s best chef: </b>james? sirius?</p><p> </p><p><b>world’s biggest heartbreaker: </b>i never came home last night</p><p> </p><p><b>world’s sexiest man alive: </b>fuck</p><p><b>world’s sexiest man alive: </b>that was me</p><p><b>world’s sexiest man alive: </b>i got really high last night and tried to make cookies</p><p> </p><p><b>world’s best chef: </b>… we literally have a roll of cookie dough in the fridge</p><p> </p><p><b>world’s sexiest man alive: </b>yes but i wanted homemade cookies</p><p><b>world’s sexiest man alive: </b>and then realised halfway into making them that i don’t actually know how to make cookies and ordered some off postmates instead</p><p> </p><p><b>world’s biggest heartbreaker: </b>incredible</p><p> </p><p><b>world’s sexiest man alive: </b>i’ll come clean it up in a little bit</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em> james potter, peter pettigrew </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p><p><b>peter pettigrew: </b>ok i may be wildly off base here</p><p><b>peter pettigrew: </b>but remus having a date last night and sirius conveniently getting high out of his mind at the same time</p><p><b>peter pettigrew: </b>doesn’t seem like sheer coincidence to me?</p><p> </p><p><b>james potter: </b>it’s not</p><p> </p><p><b>peter pettigrew: </b>… yikes</p><p><b>peter pettigrew: </b>any idea how remus’s date went last night?</p><p> </p><p><b>james potter: </b>nope</p><p><b>james potter: </b>i haven’t seen him since it happened</p><p> </p><p><b>peter pettigrew: </b>… okay</p><p><b>peter pettigrew: </b>well, living in this house just got a hell of a lot weirder</p><p> </p><p><b>james potter: </b>quite frankly, i think this house was already so goddamn weird that nothing can really make it weirder at this point</p><p> </p><p><b>peter pettigrew: </b>also a very valid point</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>bachelor pad and the freeloader</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em> james potter [actual resident #1], sirius black [actual resident #2], peter pettigrew [actual resident #3], remus lupin [actual resident #4], lily evans [i slept there *once*] </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p><p><b>i slept there *once*: </b>i just finished presenting my thesis proposal to mcgonagall and i need to stress bake to work out the nervous energy</p><p><b>i slept there *once*: </b>and i like your kitchen better than mine so i’ll be over there as soon as i finish buying supplies at the grocery store</p><p><b>i slept there *once*: </b>thanks!! &lt;3</p><p> </p><p><b>actual resident #2: </b>using us for our kitchen, i see</p><p> </p><p><b>i slept there *once*: </b>don’t act like you’re not going to sneak samples the entire time i’m baking</p><p><b>i slept there *once*: </b>you know you love it when i come over there to bake</p><p> </p><p><b>actual resident #3: </b>especially because god knows sirius can’t bake anything himself</p><p><b>actual resident #3: </b>without destroying the kitchen in the process</p><p> </p><p><b>actual resident #2: </b>i only did that once!!</p><p> </p><p><b>actual resident #1: </b>it’s also the only time you’ve ever tried to bake anything</p><p><b>actual resident #1: </b>therefore, peter’s point stands</p><p> </p><p><b>actual resident #2: </b>i’m being personally attacked</p><p> </p><p><b>i slept there *once*: </b>now you understand how i feel every time i say anything in this groupchat</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>group message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em> peter pettigrew, remus lupin, sirius black </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p><p><b>peter pettigrew:</b> ok i’m pretty sure i just watched james smack lily’s ass as he walked through the kitchen</p><p><b>peter pettigrew:</b> and she literally didn’t even acknowledge it</p><p> </p><p><b>remus lupin: </b>wait seriously??</p><p><b>remus lupin:</b> i would’ve expected lily to literally knock his lights out for that</p><p><b>remus lupin:</b> also would not have expected james to slap her ass to begin with</p><p><br/><b>sirius black: </b>that is... very weird</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. we hang back, it's all in the timing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>bitch pack friends from the city</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>lily evans [betty], mary mcdonald [rebekah], marlene mckinnon [inez]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>rebekah: </b>
  <span>you guys wanna meet up after class and go to that new ice cream shop across town</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>inez:</b>
  <span> omg hell yes</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>inez:</b>
  <span> they close at 5 right</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>inez:</b>
  <span> my last class ends at 4 so that should work out perfectly</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>betty:</b>
  <span> i’m sorry, i can’t :(</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>betty:</b>
  <span> i have to meet with mcgonagall to get my thesis topic approved</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>mary mcdonald, marlene mckinnon</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>mary mcdonald:</b>
  <span> ok, i’m not calling lils a liar or anything</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>mary mcdonald:</b>
  <span> but didn’t she get her thesis topic approved by mcgonagall last week</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>marlene mckinnon:</b>
  <span> shiiiiiiit you’re right</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>mary mcdonald:</b>
  <span> i have a theory pls hold</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>mary mcdonald, peter pettigrew</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>mary mcdonald:</b>
  <span> question</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>mary mcdonald:</b>
  <span> have you noticed james being weird about anything lately</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>peter pettigrew:</b>
  <span> um</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>peter pettigrew:</b>
  <span> define weird?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>peter pettigrew:</b>
  <span> the answer is probably yes but i need more detail</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>mary mcdonald:</b>
  <span> like, for example, lily just made up an excuse to get out of plans that was definitely a lie</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>mary mcdonald: </b>
  <span>and i’m pretty sure i found one of james’ soccer shirts in lily’s laundry the other day</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>peter pettigrew:</b>
  <span> ok then yes</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>mary mcdonald:</b>
  <span> … i believe we may have a situation on our hands</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>group message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>marlene mckinnon, mary mcdonald, peter pettigrew, remus lupin, sirius black</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>mary mcdonald </span>
  </em>
  <span>changed the group name to </span>
  <b>there are two imposters among us</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>mary mcdonald: </b>
  <span>hello friends, i am calling an emergency meeting</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>marlene mckinnon: </b>
  <span>black is sus</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>i saw pink vent</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>mary mcdonald: </b>
  <span>not that kind of emergency meeting you idiots</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>sirius black </span>
  </em>
  <span>changed their name to </span>
  <em>
    <span>black</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>marlene mckinnon </span>
  </em>
  <span>changed their name to </span>
  <em>
    <span>pink</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>peter pettigrew </span>
  </em>
  <span>changed their name to </span>
  <em>
    <span>orange</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>mary mcdonald: </b>
  <span>do we really have to have themed nicknames in every single chat</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>…. yes?? obviously</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>remus lupin </span>
  </em>
  <span>changed their name to </span>
  <em>
    <span>blue</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>mary mcdonald: </b>
  <span>ugh fine</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>mary mcdonald </span>
  </em>
  <span>changed their name to </span>
  <em>
    <span>lime</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lime: </b>
  <span>happy?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>very</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lime: </b>
  <span>ok then, onto the actual reason i created this group in the first place</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>lime: </b>
  <span>something is going on with james and lily</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>black: </b>
  <span>is this about the Ass Slap Debacle™ from last week or something else</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>ass slap debacle??</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>black: </b>
  <span>™ </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>blue: </b>
  <span>peter saw james slap lily’s ass the other day and it seemed sus</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lime: </b>
  <span>oh yeah that definitely does add to the general sus levels of all of this</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>lime: </b>
  <span>i was taking lily’s clothes out of the dryer the other day like the good roommate i am and found james’ soccer jersey in there</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>lime: </b>
  <span>and like, i know she’s taken sweatshirts from him before, but i’m pretty sure that jersey was one he was wearing at one point last week</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>orange: </b>
  <span>ok so yeah something is definitely going on</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>orange: </b>
  <span>um</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>orange: </b>
  <span>do we say something to them about it</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>lol how would that conversation even go</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>blue: </b>
  <span>probably vaguely the same way it went when james confronted me and sirius</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>blue: </b>
  <span>‘so uh are you two having sex’</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>is that… a direct quote</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>black: </b>
  <span>yes</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>black: </b>
  <span>yes it is</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>good god</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>for someone as smart as he is, bless his heart, he really is an idiot</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>if we say something we should probably have a little more tact</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lime: </b>
  <span>yeah i feel like whatever’s happening here is probably a fairly new thing so we should maybe try not to come on too strong</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>lime: </b>
  <span>although tbh i’ve been thinking they’d be cute together for months now </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>so who among us wants to be the ones who say something to them</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>that’s even remotely capable of not coming on too strong</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>black: </b>
  <span>lmao definitely not me then</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>black: </b>
  <span>i’ll go do my tasks in electrical and leave the confrontations to the people with tact</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lime: </b>
  <span>i can talk to lily</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>blue: </b>
  <span>and i can say something to james</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>blue: </b>
  <span>he just texted me anyways</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>wait don’t do it yet!!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>let’s at least make sure we know something’s actually happening before we do that</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>don’t wanna eject them from the ship prematurely</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>blue: </b>
  <span>sounds good</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>orange: </b>
  <span>honestly i like that this version of among us involves the imposters just doing sneaky shit together instead of, you know, murdering the rest of us</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lime: </b>
  <span>lmao hard disagree</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>lime: </b>
  <span>the murder’s what makes it fun</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>black: </b>
  <span>i’m with mary</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>black: </b>
  <span>getting to virtually stab all of you as imposter is fun</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>blue: </b>
  <span>well as long as you don’t actually stab any of us</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>black: </b>
  <span>nah, that would require too much cleanup</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>orange: </b>
  <span>i’m glad that the effort required to remove blood stains is the sole thing holding you back from killing us all</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>james potter, remus lupin</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>you know, i just realised that i never asked</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>how’d your date go last weekend</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>remus lupin: </b>
  <span>it was fine</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>“fine”?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>remus lupin: </b>
  <span>yes, fine</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>remus lupin: </b>
  <span>it was perfectly acceptable as far as first dates go but there probably won’t be a second one</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>remus lupin: </b>
  <span>i realised about halfway through the night that i was there for the wrong reasons</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>what do you mean</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>remus lupin: </b>
  <span>i thought i could use it to get over someone that i’m definitely not over</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>remus lupin: </b>
  <span>didn’t work, btw</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>by ‘someone you’re definitely not over,’ do you mean…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>remus lupin: </b>
  <span>sirius? yes</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>james potter, lily evans</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>so remember that funny story i told you</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans: </b>
  <span>you’re going to have to be more specific</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>the thing about sirius</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans: </b>
  <span>ah</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans: </b>
  <span>yes</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>the plot thickens</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>dorcas meadowes, marlene mckinnon</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>dorcas meadowes: </b>
  <span>hi so i’ve written out this paragraph and deleted it like 10 times already but this time i swear i’m just going to say fuck it and hit send no matter how many run-on sentences it is, but anyways i just wanted to say that honestly idk what i was thinking when i kissed you at three broomsticks. not that i don’t want to kiss you, really the opposite honestly, but i just think i accidentally got in the mindset of when we were together again so i just did it automatically and literally didn’t even realise it until i was already out the door and at that point it was going to be too awkward to turn around so i just kept walking and then spent the next god knows how long panicking about it. anyways, if the kiss didn’t make it obvious, i do still have feelings for you, and i know i fucked up with how things ended when we were together and i know we’ve talked about it before but i know that doesn’t fully make up for it either. i get it if i totally crossed a line on that kiss, but i guess it’s kind of useful in forcing me to finally say this bc at this point there’s no point pretending like i don’t still like you like that. if you only want to be friends i can be good with that eventually, but… idk. part of me thinks that maybe you still have feelings for me too.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. he can't see it in my face but i'm about to play my ace</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>dorcas meadowes, marlene mckinnon</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>marlene mckinnon: </b>
  <span>what are you doing rn?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>marlene mckinnon: </b>
  <span>(i swear i’m not ignoring what you said in your message i just think i’d rather talk in person)</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>dorcas meadowes: </b>
  <span>i’m at three broomsticks, as always</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>dorcas meadowes: </b>
  <span>my shift is over, i’m just here studying</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>marlene mckinnon: </b>
  <span>so can i join?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>dorcas meadowes: </b>
  <span>yeah</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>bitch pack friends from the city</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>lily evans [betty], mary mcdonald [rebekah], marlene mckinnon [inez]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>inez: </b>
  <span>i’m handling my own relationship drama like an adult instead of spiralling out someone pls be proud of me</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>inez: </b>
  <span>because i’m proud of me</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>betty: </b>
  <span>we’re proud of you</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>rebekah: </b>
  <span>so proud</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>betty: </b>
  <span>although we have no idea what we’re actually proud of</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>inez: </b>
  <span>i’ll explain later, i’m meeting dorcas rn</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>rebekah: </b>
  <span>omg</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>james potter, sirius black</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>you know that thing you didn’t want to talk to remus about</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>the thing where i like him as more than a friend with benefits</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>yes, that thing</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>what about it</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>talk to him about it</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>i told you i can’t</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>talk. to. him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>i’m trying not to betray anyone’s confidence here but just… do it</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>… i’ll think about it</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>i know that that’s about as good as i’m ever going to get, so i’ll take it</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>there are two imposters among us</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>marlene mckinnon [pink], mary mcdonald [lime], peter pettigrew [orange], remus lupin [blue], sirius black [black]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>emergency meeting round 2</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>but first</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>what colors are james and lily</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>this feels important for the quality of the discussion</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lime: </b>
  <span>i feel like lily needs to be red for fairly obvious reasons</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>blue: </b>
  <span>james is definitely brown with those reindeer antlers from the holiday pack</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>blue: </b>
  <span>that’s the only valid option</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>both of you are 1000% correct</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>moving on</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>i was with dorcas leaving three broomsticks and we just saw red and brown in brown’s car and i think brown kissed red and then they started having a really intense conversation</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lime: </b>
  <span>!!!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>lime: </b>
  <span>wait omg how did the thing with dorcas go</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>we can discuss that later that’s not the purpose of this meeting</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>orange: ‘</b>
  <span>thing with dorcas’???</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>WE CAN DISCUSS THAT LATER</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>the important thing is that something weird is happening with red and brown and i have no idea what it is but it’s something</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>black: </b>
  <span>but i wanna know about the thing with dorcas!!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pink:</b>
  <span> NO</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>this groupchat is for james and lily conversation, if you want to talk about the dorcas thing, make a new themed chat</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>actually fuck please do not do that i do not need another groupchat to keep up with</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>REGARDLESS</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>we can talk about that later</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>blue: </b>
  <span>i think we should talk about it now</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>ajghlafeohgar FINE</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>i will skimp on the details and simply explain that we are back together</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>and you know what? fuck it</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>pink </span>
  </em>
  <span>added </span>
  <em>
    <span>dorcas meadowes </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>hi babe pick a color</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>dorcas meadowes </span>
  </em>
  <span>changed their name to </span>
  <em>
    <span>purple</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>purple: </b>
  <span>done</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>purple: </b>
  <span>what did i do that for and why am i here</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>black: </b>
  <span>i love that you changed first, asked questions later</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>purple: </b>
  <span>i’ve learned that that works better with you all</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>orange: </b>
  <span>a good life lesson</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>we’re trying to track down whatever the fuck is going on with lily and james</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>purple: </b>
  <span>ah</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>so now i think mary and remus are gonna say something</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>esp because of the thing you and i witnessed</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>answers are needed</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>purple: </b>
  <span>oh, where they were fighting in the car?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>yes</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>pink: </b>
  <span>so lol fingers crossed they don’t completely hate each other now</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>james potter, lily evans</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter:</b>
  <span> so i just got a weirdly cryptic text from remus</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>james potter:</b>
  <span> about seeing if everything was ok between me and you</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans:</b>
  <span> wait really</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans:</b>
  <span> i just got almost the exact same thing from mary</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter:</b>
  <span> i think we have finally been found out</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans:</b>
  <span> rip</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans:</b>
  <span> although honestly, still impressed we made it this long</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter:</b>
  <span> it was a great run</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans:</b>
  <span> so um, what do we do now</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>we can leave them both on read?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans: </b>
  <span>i mean obviously i’m not going to respond to this text, but also</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans: </b>
  <span>we can’t ignore them all forever</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans: </b>
  <span>they’re persistent and also perpetually around us </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans: </b>
  <span>we need a broader escape plan</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>well yeah</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>james potter:</b>
  <span> i mean obviously there’s only one way out here</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans:</b>
  <span> … which is?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter:</b>
  <span> ok, did you read that nyt question article about the woman who couldn’t figure out how to tell her coworker that she had a baby while they were working on their project bc the baby was like 4 months old and she’d never once acknowledged even being pregnant</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans:</b>
  <span> lol yes you sent it in the groupchat a few weeks ago bc you found it hilarious</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans:</b>
  <span> but uh</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans:</b>
  <span> how tf is that relevant</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter:</b>
  <span> patience, evans, i’m getting there</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>james potter:</b>
  <span> anyways, the reason i mentioned it bc it’s a parallel situation here</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>james potter:</b>
  <span> the only right answer here is that we have to gaslight the shit out of them</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans:</b>
  <span> ummm... what</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter:</b>
  <span> like, obviously we’ve been dating for the past four months, how did you guys *not* notice that??</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>james potter:</b>
  <span> why would we be keeping a relationship a secret, that’s so weird and dumb</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans:</b>
  <span> oh my god</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter:</b>
  <span> you see where i’m going with this, yes</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans:</b>
  <span> you are patently absurd</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans:</b>
  <span> and also kind of a genius</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <b>james potter:</b>
  <span> i would like ‘patently absurd genius’ carved into my tombstone</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>the nyt article thing is an *incredibly* niche reference, but it does in fact exist if you want to google it</p>
<p>also, fun fact, i somehow finished this fic in one sitting yesterday, so the next three updates will all come pretty quickly :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. we team up, then switch sides like a record changer</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>how are we all still alive</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>lily evans [the mom friend], mary mcdonald [lily no ur not allowed to be responsible], marlene mckinnon [the dad friend], james potter [the friend who jumps off the cliff first], sirius black [will follow james off the cliff], peter pettigrew [pls eat something before drinking], remus lupin [the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death], dorcas meadowes [lighten up lupin]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>will follow james off the cliff:</b>
  <span> alright drunk trivia on friday who’s in</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pls eat something before drinking:</b>
  <span> hell yes</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the mom friend:</b>
  <span> ah sorry that’s james and i’s four months so we’ve already got plans</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend:</b>
  <span> what</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily no ur not allowed to be responsible:</b>
  <span> what</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death:</b>
  <span> what</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>will follow james off the cliff:</b>
  <span> what</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lighten up lupin:</b>
  <span> what</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pls eat something before drinking:</b>
  <span> what</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>lily evans, sirius black</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black:</b>
  <span> you cannot say something like that and peace the fuck out of the groupchat what the FUCK</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>how are we all still alive</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>lily evans [the mom friend], mary mcdonald [lily no ur not allowed to be responsible], marlene mckinnon [the dad friend], james potter [the friend who jumps off the cliff first], sirius black [will follow james off the cliff], peter pettigrew [pls eat something before drinking], remus lupin [the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death], dorcas meadowes [lighten up lupin]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily no ur not allowed to be responsible:</b>
  <span> four months of what???</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the friend who jumps off the cliff first:</b>
  <span> dating?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the friend who jumps off the cliff first:</b>
  <span> what else</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pls eat something before drinking:</b>
  <span> what</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend:</b>
  <span> what</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>will follow james off the cliff:</b>
  <span> what</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lighten up lupin:</b>
  <span> what</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death:</b>
  <span> what</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily no ur not allowed to be responsible:</b>
  <span> what</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the mom friend:</b>
  <span> why do you guys keep saying that</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>will follow james off the cliff:</b>
  <span> how the fuck have you guys been dating for four months that’s impossible</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the friend who jumps off the cliff first:</b>
  <span> why is it impossible?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend:</b>
  <span> bc we would’ve KNOWN</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend:</b>
  <span> four MONTHS</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the mom friend:</b>
  <span> wait</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the mom friend:</b>
  <span> are you guys seriously saying you haven’t noticed until now??</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pls eat something before drinking:</b>
  <span> but but but</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>pls eat something before drinking:</b>
  <span> i’m so confused</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily no ur not allowed to be responsible:</b>
  <span> ok no you two are definitely just playing a joke on all of us</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the friend who jumps off the cliff first:</b>
  <span> we’re not?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death:</b>
  <span> prove it</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the friend who jumps off the cliff first:</b>
  <span> i don’t even know where to start</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the friend who jumps off the cliff first:</b>
  <span> literally where the fuck do you think i’ve been sleeping multiple nights a week</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend:</b>
  <span> like i knew *something* seemed off but</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend:</b>
  <span> FOUR MONTHS</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend:</b>
  <span> WHAT</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>will follow james off the cliff:</b>
  <span> i think we’re all right there with you</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily no ur not allowed to be responsible:</b>
  <span> wait you’ve been sleeping at our apartment????</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the friend who jumps off the cliff first:</b>
  <span> yeah?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the friend who jumps off the cliff first:</b>
  <span> you haven’t noticed?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend:</b>
  <span> what the FUCK</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pls eat something before drinking:</b>
  <span> i am so confused right now</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death:</b>
  <span> aren’t we all</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>ok then what were you two fighting over yesterday</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the mom friend: </b>
  <span>we… weren’t fighting yesterday? what made you think that</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>dorcas and i saw the both of you in james’ car outside of three broomsticks yesterday and it looked like you were fighting</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the mom friend: </b>
  <span>ohhhh, lol</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the mom friend: </b>
  <span>we weren’t fighting</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the mom friend: </b>
  <span>i could tell you what we were talking about but given the shock you guys just got from apparently not knowing that we were dating until just now, i think i should spare you those details</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>will follow james off the cliff:</b>
  <span> FOUR MONTHS</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>james potter, lily evans</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans: </b>
  <span>i have been laughing for five minutes straight</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans: </b>
  <span>there are actual tears</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans: </b>
  <span>this is everything i could’ve ever wanted and more</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>this was brilliant</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>we are brilliant</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily evans: </b>
  <span>damn right we are</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>there are two imposters among us</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>marlene mckinnon [pink], mary mcdonald [lime], peter pettigrew [orange], remus lupin [blue], sirius black [black], dorcas meadowes [purple]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>black: </b>
  <span>holy shit, well that went WILDLY differently than i think any of us expected</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lime: </b>
  <span>jfc if this was real among us we would’ve all been dead in their imposter bloodbath by now</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>orange: </b>
  <span>rip</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>bitch pack friends from the city</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>lily evans [betty], mary mcdonald [rebekah], marlene mckinnon [inez]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>inez: </b>
  <span>ok now that we’ve been subjected to the biggest plot twist of the century</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>inez:</b>
  <span> what i want to know is</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>inez:</b>
  <span> lily. when the hell did this happen</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>betty:</b>
  <span> remember the night remus accidentally invited dorcas to the party at their house</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>inez:</b>
  <span> yes</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>betty:</b>
  <span> at one point james and i went off on our own and were out in the back drinking tequila straight out of the bottle and then somehow we weren’t drinking tequila straight out of the bottle anymore</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>rebekah:</b>
  <span> pls tell me you did not fuck in the backyard </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>betty:</b>
  <span> lol no not that night</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>betty:</b>
  <span> we were just kissing</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>rebekah:</b>
  <span> i am deeply concerned by the implication that you fucked in his backyard on a different night</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>inez:</b>
  <span> ditto, but at the moment i am more concerned about the conclusion of this story</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>betty:</b>
  <span> i mean, that’s basically it</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>betty:</b>
  <span> he said a lot of things and then we went back to the apartment and made out some more in my bed</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>betty:</b>
  <span> then the next morning he said something about it not having to mean anything and we could just pretend it never happened</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>betty:</b>
  <span> and then i was texting him later in the day and he basically told me everything he’d said that morning was bullshit</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>betty:</b>
  <span> and we’ve been dating ever since</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>rebekah:</b>
  <span> lol what a rollercoaster</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>inez:</b>
  <span> pls note that i ask this with the preface that james feels like my brother so i want none of the associated sordid details</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>inez:</b>
  <span> but i am SO curious what he’s like as a boyfriend</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>rebekah:</b>
  <span> rt to all of the above</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>betty:</b>
  <span> i mean honestly it’s not that different than being close friends with him was</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>betty:</b>
  <span> minus the sordid details you asked not to hear about</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>betty:</b>
  <span> idk i think part of it was that we were basically already dating minus the physical aspect before, so not much changed</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>betty:</b>
  <span> we already spent most of our time together anyways, so now it’s just like… just like that except some of that time is now spent in bed</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>betty:</b>
  <span> or… a lot of places that aren’t a bed</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <b>inez:</b>
  <span> brb gagging</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. the rumors are terrible and cruel but honey, most of them are true</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>world’s greatest bachelor pad</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>james potter [world’s biggest heartbreaker], sirius black [world’s sexiest man alive], peter pettigrew [world’s best chef], remus lupin [these nicknames are stupid]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>world’s best chef:</b>
  <span> james you have to change your name in the gc</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>world’s biggest heartbreaker:</b>
  <span> what</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>world’s best chef:</b>
  <span> you cannot be the world’s biggest heartbreaker if you are in a relationship</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>world’s best chef:</b>
  <span> it is fundamentally impossible</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>world’s biggest heartbreaker:</b>
  <span> ah, fair point i suppose</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>world’s biggest heartbreaker </span>
  </em>
  <span>changed their name to </span>
  <em>
    <span>world’s greatest boyfriend</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>world’s sexiest man alive: </b>
  <span>gross</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>bachelor pad and the freeloader</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>james potter [actual resident #1], sirius black [actual resident #2], peter pettigrew [actual resident #3], remus lupin [actual resident #4], lily evans [i slept there *once*]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>actual resident #2:</b>
  <span> wait </span>
  <em>
    <span>@i only slept there *once* </span>
  </em>
  <span>does this mean your gc name is a lie</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>i slept there *once*:</b>
  <span> no</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>actual resident #1: </b>
  <span>can confirm</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>actual resident #1: </b>
  <span>she has in fact only slept at our house once</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>actual resident #1: </b>
  <span>she is stupidly stubborn about it</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>i slept there *once*: </b>
  <span>turns out when you give me shit about something for a long time i am not going to roll over and take it that easily!! :)</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>actual resident #4: </b>
  <span>why do i feel like this has been a Thing™ in their relationship</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>actual resident #2: </b>
  <span>probably because lily used one of her insane smileys at the end of that message</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>actual resident #2: </b>
  <span>those are nothing but trouble</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>actual resident #1: </b>
  <span>it absolutely has been a Thing™</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>i slept there *once*: </b>
  <span>:)</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>actual resident #3: </b>
  <span>why are they always so much scarier coming from lily than from literally anybody else</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>i slept there *once*: </b>
  <span>i’m taking that as a compliment</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>i slept there *once*: </b>
  <span>… :)</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>remus lupin, sirius black</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>hey</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>remus lupin: </b>
  <span>hey</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>we haven’t talked in a while</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>remus lupin: </b>
  <span>and whose fault was that?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>what’s that supposed to mean</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>remus lupin: </b>
  <span>it means, if you scroll up like five messages, you’ll probably see a stream of grey bubbles left unresponded to in the same way i see a stream of blue bubbles that you never answered</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>fuck</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>sorry about that</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>remus lupin: </b>
  <span>wow, i got an actual apology? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>remus lupin: </b>
  <span>are you okay?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>remus lupin: </b>
  <span>do you have a fever?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>remus lupin: </b>
  <span>do i need to take you to the campus health center?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>ha ha</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>i am aware i am not the best at apologising for things</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>but i am sorry for ignoring you, i’ve been in my own head about some shit</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>so, um</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>how’d your date go</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>remus lupin: </b>
  <span>the one from almost three weeks ago?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>uh yeah</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>that one</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>unless there has been another date after that one i guess?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>remus lupin: </b>
  <span>there hasn’t</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>remus lupin: </b>
  <span>but i’d really prefer *not* talking about it tbh</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>oh, that bad?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>remus lupin: </b>
  <span>it wasn’t bad</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>remus lupin: </b>
  <span>i just can’t have this conversation with you</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>what’s that supposed to mean</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>you don’t get to just leave that on read</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>that’s not fair</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>… remus?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>ok then</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>now who’s the one ignoring all the grey bubbles</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>james potter, peter pettigrew</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>peter pettigrew: </b>
  <span>is it just me, or did the levels of tension between remus and sirius just get even higher</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>no ur definitely not imagining that</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>i literally left and am waiting in the car to pick lily up from lab now because i couldn’t deal</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>peter pettigrew: </b>
  <span>wait you abandoned me??</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>peter pettigrew: </b>
  <span>you left me ALONE in a house with two people who are balancing on a knife’s edge between getting in a fistfight and declaring their undying love for each other??</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>peter pettigrew: </b>
  <span>what the FUCK, bro</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>hoes b4 bros, sorry dude</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>except lily’s not a hoe and would probably kill me for insinuating that she is</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>the rhyme just worked</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>peter pettigrew: </b>
  <span>it’s also supposed to be the other way around</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>not when the bros are stressing you the fuck out</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>also something kind of significant happened so i needed to see her anyways</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>peter pettigrew: </b>
  <span>brb finding myself a girlfriend who will let me crash at her place so i can gtfo of this hellscape</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>james potter, sirius black</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>remus still won’t talk to me</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>what did you say to him</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>i asked about his date a few weeks back</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>he brushed me off and immediately shut down and we haven’t spoken since</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>i’m sorry you did what</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>sirius black: </b>
  <span>we haven’t talked since then!! and if i’m going to take you up on your advice i want to at least make sure i’m not making a declaration of love to a taken man!!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>he’s not taken</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>but i can imagine he didn’t exactly want to talk about his date with you of all people</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>maybe try again and lead with the declaration of love this time</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>speaking of which, i’ve gotta go make one of my own</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>good luck with remus</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>the gaang</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>sirius black [firelord zuko], remus lupin [katara], james potter [boomerang boy], lily evans [suki], peter pettigrew [uncle iroh], mary mcdonald [appa (aka carrying this whole show on my back both literally and figuratively)]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>appa (aka carrying this whole show on my back both literally and figuratively): </b>
  <span>oh my god</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>appa (aka carrying this whole show on my back both literally and figuratively): </b>
  <em>
    <span>@suki @boomerang boy </span>
  </em>
  <span>how did we not put this together</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>uncle iroh: </b>
  <span>what</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>appa (aka carrying this whole show on my back both literally and figuratively): </b>
  <span>did you ever think about *why* james and lily might’ve immediately opted for SOKKA and SUKI when we picked characters</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>appa (aka carrying this whole show on my back both literally and figuratively): </b>
  <span>aka the ultimate atla power couple??</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>appa (aka carrying this whole show on my back both literally and figuratively): </b>
  <span>god there were so many signs and we missed all of them</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>direct message</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>james potter, peter pettigrew</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>peter pettigrew: </b>
  <span>these walls are too thin</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>peter pettigrew: </b>
  <span>i don’t think they know that i’m here</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>oh no</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>peter pettigrew: </b>
  <span>if you want me to live-text the drama i can</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>pls do</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>i will make lily pause this episode</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>james potter: </b>
  <span>i’m more invested in this than netflix</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. baby, we're the new romantics</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>world’s greatest bachelor pad</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>james potter [world’s greatest boyfriend], sirius black [world’s sexiest man alive], peter pettigrew [world’s best chef], remus lupin [these nicknames are stupid]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>world’s best chef: </b>
  <span>i know we’ve already had the conversation about james’ nickname</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>world’s best chef: </b>
  <span>but um</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>world’s best chef: </b>
  <span>do we need to change the name of this group as well</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>world’s best chef: </b>
  <span>i don’t think it qualifies as a bachelor pad when 3 out of the 4 members are not, in fact, bachelors</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>these nicknames are stupid: </b>
  <span>what are you talking about</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>world’s best chef: </b>
  <span>i was in my room last night</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>world’s sexiest man alive: </b>
  <span>oh... shit</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>world’s best chef: </b>
  <span>so uh, if you two were entertaining the idea of pulling a james and lily and keeping everything a secret for way too long for literally no fucking reason, i’m afraid you’re doomed from the start</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>world’s greatest boyfriend: </b>
  <span>excuse me, we had a great reason</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>world’s best chef: </b>
  <span>which was??</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>world’s greatest boyfriend: </b>
  <span>it seemed like it’d be funny?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>world’s best chef: </b>
  <span>that’s some airtight logic right there</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>these nicknames are stupid </span>
  </em>
  <span>changed the group name to </span>
  <b>world’s greatest one-quarter-bachelor pad</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>these nicknames are stupid: </b>
  <span>good enough?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>world’s best chef: </b>
  <span>so uh</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>world’s best chef: </b>
  <span>i made a joke to james yesterday about finding a girlfriend while you two were stomping around the house making it feel like a warzone</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>world’s best chef: </b>
  <span>and then i may have actually texted a girl in one of my classes who i was pretty sure had been flirting with me for a couple weeks now</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>world’s best chef: </b>
  <span>and we may have a date tonight</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>world’s best chef: </b>
  <span>i don’t wanna be presumptuous, but that name might not last</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>world’s best chef: </b>
  <span>the last quarter may also get fucked up</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>world’s sexiest man alive: </b>
  <span>what a wild 24 hours this has been</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>world’s sexiest man alive </span>
  </em>
  <span>changed the group name to </span>
  <b>world’s greatest house party pad</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>world’s sexiest man alive: </b>
  <span>no matter what happens, that title will never change</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>world’s greatest boyfriend: </b>
  <span>speaking of which, i think it’s about time for one of those</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>bachelor pad and the freeloader</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>james potter [actual resident #1], sirius black [actual resident #2], peter pettigrew [actual resident #3], remus lupin [actual resident #4], lily evans [i slept there *once*]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>i slept there *once* </span>
  </em>
  <span>changed the group name to </span>
  <b>bachelor pad no more</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>i slept there *once* </span>
  </em>
  <span>changed their name to </span>
  <em>
    <span>honorary resident #5</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>actual resident #1: </b>
  <span>i stole lily’s phone and made the unilateral decision to upgrade her</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>actual resident #4: </b>
  <span>is this just you trying to get on lily’s good side and get her to stay the night more</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>actual resident #1: </b>
  <span>perhaps</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>actual resident #2: </b>
  <span>more importantly, is it working</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>actual resident #3: </b>
  <em>
    <span>@honorary resident #5 </span>
  </em>
  <span>do you have possession of your phone again</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>honorary resident #5: </b>
  <span>i do</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>actual resident #3: </b>
  <span>and the verdict is?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>honorary resident #5: </b>
  <span>i’m going to fuck james now, as one does</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>actual resident #2: </b>
  <span>... well then</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>actual resident #2: </b>
  <span>effectiveness level - 100%</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>how are we all still alive</b>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>lily evans [the mom friend], mary mcdonald [lily no ur not allowed to be responsible], marlene mckinnon [the dad friend], james potter [the friend who jumps off the cliff first], sirius black [will follow james off the cliff], peter pettigrew [pls eat something before drinking], remus lupin [the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death], dorcas meadowes [lighten up lupin]</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</div><p> </p>
<p>
  <b>will follow james off the cliff: </b>
  <span>well i know lily and james are currently otherwise occupied and will not see this until later, but for everyone else - we’re throwing a house party on friday, be there or i’ll kick your asses</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>will follow james off the cliff: </b>
  <span>we’re not allowed to get boring now that so many of us are in *gags* stable monogamous relationships</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>who the fuck do you think we are</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>we could never be boring</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death: </b>
  <span>huh, i remember *exactly* why a stable monogamous relationship might’ve made you gag last night, and it sure as hell wasn’t related to being boring</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lily no ur not allowed to be responsible: </b>
  <span>akejrgahluoafjgahgl</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>lily no ur not allowed to be responsible: </b>
  <span>at the very top of ‘text messages i was not expecting to receive at 10am on a wednesday,’ i think that one takes the cake</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the stress of supervising all of you will cause my early death: </b>
  <span>you’re welcome</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>pls eat something before drinking: </b>
  <span>anyways, come party with us on friday!!!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>pls eat something before drinking: </b>
  <span>i would say there will be fewer completely inappropriate jokes, but i think we all know that would be a lie</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>the dad friend: </b>
  <span>the inappropriate jokes are *why* we come</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>lighten up lupin: </b>
  <span>well, that and the jello shots</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>ahhhhhhh it's the end!! i can't believe i finished this fic, especially considering i had no idea what the plot was going to be when i started it :P also the 'i'm going to fuck james, as one does' is a line taken straight out of one of branwen's reviews, bc i read it and cracked up so much that i was like 'yes this definitely has to find its way into the fic somehow' and then i did exactly that.</p>
<p>also stay tuned, bc i wrote a bunch of jily texts and scenes that were going on behind-the-scenes of this fic and i'll be posting it tomorrow :)</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>find me on <a href="http://downn-in-flames.tumblr.com/">tumblr!</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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